Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Spiritual Autoimmune Disorder

Last week, things really hit home, when my community honored a fallen soldier, Rob Yllescas.

As I was sitting with God, I asked Him how He feels when we hurt each other.

He designed us for many special reasons. To have a relationship with Him. With each other.

But we mistreat each other, hate people that are different. Different size, different race. Genders. Cultures.

That person looks a little odd. They must be inferior.

Another person lives a little different, so we abuse them. We ostracize them.

Or kill them.

I just did some research on our immune system. Amazing how God made us. He is so creative. Thought of everything.

Stay with me. I will bring this together!

The site above states, our "immune system mistakenly attacks the body's healthy organs and tissues as though they were foreign invaders."

As God's family, we do the same thing.

We become our own autoimmune disease of humanity, and kill each other from the inside out.

God have mercy on us and forgive us.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Busted & Burned

This morning I am so convicted.

Have I prayed as I should for my family? For my nation?

Have I cried over our sin? Have I come to my Lord with passion, crying out for my neighbors? When have I remembered my friends?

Recently we have had a friend's son-in-law hit by the war - literally. I can't relate all of what has gone on...read it on his wife's blog.... Amazing stuff. She is a very good communicator, but gutsy in sharing her heart. Her fears.

Many have posted comments following her post. I find myself agreeing in prayer with the writers.

And weeping.

And getting a great big sense of the power of this thing called prayer.

And getting convicted.

I pray. Don't get me wrong, but as I speak those words that are powerful in and of themselves, is my heart attached? Am I just speaking? Or am I connecting with the Power of the Ages. Jesus, the One Christ. Jesus, our Savior, but Jesus, the Resurrection Power.

As I draw close to my God, He draws close to me. And the angels bring every prayer offered for this family. As We (Him and me!) pray, there is a power released that surpasses all understanding.

Burn out the dross, Lord. Burn in me the passion to pray for all. I bring me to the cross. Crucify my flesh - the me. "Create in me a clean heart Oh God."

That my prayers may be effectual, fervent, and availing much. (James 5:16)

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Friday, November 7, 2008

Smiley Face

I am at my son and daughter-in-law's home visiting.

And playing! Things like train, cars, tickle, reading books! Fun! Celebrating a three-year-old's birthday! Fun again!

Also getting to know the littlest in the clan. A one month old baby boy.

Getting in on some of his first smiles is just the sweetest thing.

How do they know to smile? How does that start?

God made us with a God sized place in our hearts. Do they feel Him? Do they sense His presence and smile? I know as they begin to really see our eyes, they smile back, but the first ones I think come from within.

So blessed!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Saturday, November 1, 2008

No Fear/All Fear

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;" Ps. 111:10

I have been praying for more of God's wisdom in my life. I figured - look what Solomon did with his life - it couldn't hurt mine!

Aside from the flippant attitude, I want God's wisdom in my life. Yes, for this natural life - daily stuff like finances, relationships, etc. But also, and especially, in the spiritual or supernatural life.

In order to get me to the wisdom place, God has been doing a thing in my life that has brought on great humility, huge respect - yes fear.

It's not the "Duck! Here it comes!" fear. "Look out...!" I am, with God's help, redefining fear.

And I realized today, that He is answering my prayer for more wisdom in my life through the fear of the Lord.

Did I get wisdom to know the right answers? What to do when? Sometimes.

But His real goal is my heart.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Farming 101

I love it when God explains a verse, or a concept to me. Something I have been pondering gets a greater revelation. I love it. It frees me. It instructs me. It blesses me that the God of the Universe takes the time to help me understand.

I read Matthew 25 this morning about the 10 virgins and farther in, about the talents.

When I read verses 24-26, Lord reminded me of when He blessed me to witness to a friend years ago. I was so young in the Walk that I didn't realize what I was doing. I just answered her questions. Afterward I realized (and freaked out! Did I do it right?) that I had been witnessing to her. I just spoke my heart!

Years later, I got the chance to meet with her at her church and she introduced me to the woman that led her to the Lord. The woman harvested what she had not sown! She watered the seed that the Lord led me to plant. Praise God!

Thus illustrating these verses in a different light.

And as I thought about that meeting of three women, my friend and I, and her friend, I felt the swirling in the supernatural world, as destinies were changed. A portion of the world is changed due to kids of Father's reaping where we have not planted. Gathering in the harvest where we have not sown.

Praise God!

Yes, that I received greater revelation of His Word, but that another kid is back home with her Daddy!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I Own Time

Wow this is already middle September. Where does the time go? I remember as I grew up, the ladies would say that all of the time.

"Time flies. Time goes so fast! Where did this day go?"

Had a thought. And you know that I am partly deranged! But, I think that we make time go faster. I think that it's our fault!

We can't wait until this or that is done or over.

"I can't wait until I'm out of school. I can't wait until I'm married. I can't wait until I'm not. I can't wait until vaca. I can't wait to get back home."

On and on.

Are we ever happy? Content?

Just as our words have power, I think that our discontent has power.

As I wish for this day to be over, does it actually go faster?

As I say, "I can't wait to get back home," does the trip go quicker and I maybe loose a chance that God had an appointment for me?

Can we change time with our words?

Maybe I am crazy. (Oh I opened up a door...) But what if I'm not? What if I'm on to something here.

What if I just lost a day by saying those things.

A month.

A year.

"Time goes so fast."

God help me to "just be." You have spoken that over me so many times. Soothing me.

"Just be."

Help me embrace each moment. Each day.

But help me realize the power of my words.

Your Word says that I can do anything you did and "even greater things than these." (John 14:12)

Soo...you created the heavens and the earth....

I have my bar set too low!

And I will try to listen to myself as I go through each day.

I have enough time as my pastor says.

To do all that He has set before me to do.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Win Win!

Okay, this is kinda off my usual, but my daughter sent me this link.

We have been shopping, or shall I say, oogling these shirts for awhile. So when this opportunity came up, we jumped!

All we have to do is blog about why we support JesusBranded, and email them a link of this blog entry, and they send us a coupon for a free shirt! Easy?

These are the coolest designs, ones that we will be proud to wear. But as a testimony for our love of Jesus.

Oh, another blessing? More people see my blog!

Ya can't loose!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

You and Me, Baby!

Just got back from a family vaca. Such fun! My little grands are so cute! (Of course!) And we played hard!

Had some really blessed time with God too, which is remarkable considering a 5 year old and 2 year old in the house! But their little body clock is on a different time zone than mine, so I sometimes get an hour with God before they wake up. I like to give their parents some sleep in time if I can! I remember!

In one of my prayer times, as I wrote, I was praying for a submissive spirit for my whole family and me. Submitting to God. To let Him do what He needs to do in each of us.

As we grow in Him, we submit ourselves to God, so that He would increase and we would decrease. (John 3:30)

That doesn't mean that we are all Him. I don't think that He meant it that way.

At first, we are all so full of ourselves, that we need to decrease. But as we give up more of ourselves to God, we let more of Him in. We have that partnership with Him. We hear His voice and follow Him.

But as our hearts become more of Him, we walk beside Him.

He walks a little ahead of us, leading us.

Sometimes He walks behind us, giving us the broom!

Sometimes taking our hand, His arm around us, walking beside us.

It's a partnership. Romans 8:28 in the Amplified version says, "We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose."

Some people say, "It's all God. It's all Him." But those are my fingers typing away on the keyboard right now!

It's a friendship that we can enjoy, doing what He put into us to do and be.

Embracing the things that capture our hearts.

And in doing that we capture His heart!

He is so pleased when we enjoy the things in our lives, that He designed us to be!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Size XXXXXXXXXXXXXX...Large

Was praying this morning - Lord, help me submit all that I am. All that I have.

I saw myself sitting at a table with the Holy Spirit. I had a bunch of jars filled with some incredible things. I felt that they were very valuable. Quart jars full.

And there was one pint jar with a pop bottle cap, some marbles, and some trash in it.

I looked at all of the jars. Some were very precious to me. My kids. My husband. My dreams. My favorite T-shirt. The things that I have created. Money.

I tried to give you the big ones. The valuable ones.

But I took them back.

I pushed the pint jar with the junk in it across the table, hoping that you would accept that as a sacrifice. I told you that the marbles are really valuable. They're vintage for pete's sake. And my cat would die for that bottle cap. The trash? Something has to fill the landfill. If no trash, no landfill. Oh, no.

You just shake your head in wonder. When are we gonna do more than just mouth those words?

When are we going to give it all?

So, later this morning during worship, I gave you my precious daughter who has the voice of an angel. She is yours. I gave you my other kids. My grandkids. My Dearly Beloved. My dreams. My past. My failures. My future. My dreams for my kids. My drawings. My writing. My visions. They're all yours.

And I'm pulling open the drawers to find that T-shirt. Is it your size God?

Doesn't matter. You want it all, no matter if I think that you can use it or not.

You want it all.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Monday, July 28, 2008

Cut Through the Crap!

As we get in a mess of the mind (I think you know what I mean...where we battle back and forth and listen to lies, and speak to the lies, and then...all over again!) we question ourselves and where we are with God.

I did it just today. Asking Him if I was in sin and Him telling me that He took care of that. I had already repented for the offense, but I kept bringing it back up.

We need to cut through the crap (yes, crap!).

I 'see' piles of crap on either side of me and me walking through it all.

And climbing onto the lap of my Father.

As we ignore it all and walk past it into His arms, He sets us free!

He is lifting us up onto His lap, we turn around - glance back - and it is all gone!

The garbage in our minds is gone!

Because as we climb into the lap of the Father, we let go of all the stuff, and He handles it all!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Let Him Have It

Yesterday at church, I had a vision during worship.

I saw myself walking toward the front from the back. I had an armload of papers, junk. Stuff.

As I walked, I kept dropping some. I'd go back to pick it up and loose another 5 pieces.

I got up front and kept trying to keep it all in my arms. I even saw myself leaning down to pick up another piece, saying, "Oh, I need this. It's from 1927!"

Wow!

I started to just drop it all and I opened my arms up wide and a whirlwind came and took it all up to Heaven.

He wants it all.

He can handle it all.

He wants it all!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Well, Shut My Mouth!

Whoa! It has been a month since I have blogged! My excuse? Grandkids. We are having to close down our business. Just excuses!

I had an interesting revelation this morning though.

When we first learn about the Holy Spirit, we are so interested, freaked out, passionate, by all of the manifestations. The main one being speaking in tongues. We practice (only in the bathroom!), read every book about it (there are many), learning to let it flow.

Releasing even our tongues to the Holy Spirit, flowing in that Heavenly language.

But now Holy Spirit is teaching me, admonishing me to hold my tongue.

To not speak freely what is on my mind. To not chatterbox. Not speaking without thinking or checking in with Him.

To guard my heart and mind, my thoughts, my speech.

He blesses me with so many ideas, dreams, visions. But some are not to be shared at that time or maybe not at all.

So He is teaching me to listen to Him - to shut my mouth if need be- to only let out and share it if and when He releases me to.

It's all about His timing. His plan.

He has prepared the heart and He knows when the time is right.

And it's a well oiled machine when it works together well. It runs smoothly but is effective and powerful with the oil of the Holy Spirit.

Lord, set a guard at my mouth!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Bring on the Rain

Oh man, we have been having bad weather here in the Midwest. Tornadoes, flooding, winds that take not only your hats, but your hair!

But in the midst of this, last Monday, we had a perfectly beautiful day. No wind, no rain, no humidity. Awesome!

And it hit me.

We want it so perfect. We want the perfect day. The perfect life. The perfect hair day.

And when we don't get it, we whine. We complain.

The word complacency has been coming up so much lately in my prayer time.

OK. If we had that perfect day, for instance, wouldn't we become lulled asleep, shrinking back from the edge of where God wants us.

As we go into these times, we need to keep on the edge with Jesus. We need to be, at once, ready for the battle.

Not playing in the pretty days.

I sound very hard, I realize, but that is what is coming over me. Go to church on Sunday's, maybe Bible Study on Wednesdays.... la, la-la, la-la.

No.

Dig in. Dig in with Jesus. Spend that time in His Presence. Keep on our faces.

And as we are on the floor, on our faces, the storms all around us, we will not be moved. We will not be shaken.

Ready for what comes. Prepared for what is coming.

Keep on the move. That's what our adversary is doing. Let's keep Satan guessing.

And the tactics?

Keep on our faces. The rains come down, and the floods come up. Lay down on the floor and let the flood of the Holy Spirit rise within and around you.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Heads Up, Look Alive!

Not long ago, God blessed me with a vision.

I saw myself in a neighboring town at Ruby Tuesday's restaurant. I love this place as I have eaten there several times with family.

They have a kicken' salad bar - just huge! So in the vision, I was making my way through it, putting only a bite of what I liked onto my plate (which is not normal for me!). As I looked down at the plate, there were many spaces between the bites.

Then I sat down at a booth with my husband and others I can't identify.

I had a sense of being so totally connected to the Holy Spirit - watching, waiting, and listening as I nibbled. Ready to act at a moment's notice. Just a bite and then keeping alert.

We have become sleepy, slovenly, gluttonous.

Lazy.

We'd never make the cut for Gideon's army.

I feel that the Lord is ringing a warning bell, a gong. Loudly!

We feed on too much, too much! And then we become slow. Our wits slow down and we become constipated. Complacent. Nothing comes out (if I'm getting too graphic for you, I'm sorry, but you'll have to get over it!) on the fruitful end.

Let us heed the warning. Keep alert, especially in familiar territory.

1 Peter 5:8, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:"

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Copycats

Oh, the struggles of each day.

We want more, we need more (or think we do), we want more success. We want to do more for Jesus. We want to eat better, exercise more, look better. Use more of the day efficiently. Be more effective for Jesus. Read the Bible more. Find the right dress. Read the newest book on gifts of the Holy Spirit.

But in the end, if we take Romans 8:29 seriously, as we spend more time with our Saviour, we will be molded into His image.

No, he didn't have to clock in, drive in traffic, clean up the peanut butter.

I feel He lived His time here on earth to the fullest. We could still make a bunch of accusations like, he didn't even have to pay off credit cards.

His time here?

He made time for people. He made time for prayer and His Father. He was bent on teaching His disciples, but He could take time to hold a child. He drove demons into a herd of pigs (that's a battle!), but He also worked with wood. He taught in the synagogues, but He enjoyed meals with His friends and family. I forget that it wasn't all work. There had to be some play.

I just got a picture of Jesus and the disciples playing keep away with a piece of bread, and then wrestling. Yeah, they wasted the bread!

As times on this earth get tougher - darker - it's hard to remember to play. To enjoy this life.

But again Romans 8:29 reminds us to be willing to be like Jesus. To copy His life.

Today, just today, let's agree to live that way. As a bird calls out to another, lift your face to the sky, and let the sun warm your face. Stay there for a moment.

When the wind stirs the tree leaves, listen to the sound of the leaves clapping in worship.

Linger there. Tarry.

And when our Lord sweetly calls our name or rumbles in the Heavens, stop.

Linger. Raise your face to His and hear His heart.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy


Monday, May 12, 2008

Collision of Two Realms

I just got home from walking to the Post Office, Bank, and the Court House today. Here in my home state of Nebraska, it is extremely windy. I'm not going to complain, because I want the wind of the Holy Spirit blowing me over, so why not put up with the wind in the natural!

I have been reading some crazy books like Miracle Workers, Reformers, and The New Mystics, recommended by a brother of mine. So because of this book, I am getting better at connecting the supernatural and the natural. It's on my mind more and more. My belly just burns!

I was walking into the wind, uphill! Whoah! Each step was harder and harder, but I had this goofy grin on my face because I could feel my Dear Holy Spirit in my belly, just burning! And I could feel the strong wind blowing directly into my face, almost knocking me backwards at the same time.

So we are always talking about bringing Heaven down to earth, or experiencing the Power of the Holy Spirit here on earth.

Well, as I was walking, God gave me such a revelation about something so simple.

As my belly was burning, and the wind was blowing around and against my body, the supernatural within me in the Holy Spirit, and the natural without me in the wind (and just me being the human that I am!) hit smack dab together to bring them both together.

Did Heaven invade earth? Did fires start, or people get saved just then?

No, but I just kept on pushing and listening and grinning against the wind.

We bring Heaven down to earth every time that we shift over to the spirit within our bodies. There is a bonding together. Learning to stay in the Spirit is tricky, but possible.

More and more, I challenge myself to stay in that place and hopefully someday, my spirit and body will be so melted together, that there is no shift.

But until then, I'll just walk into the Wind of the Holy Spirit in this body, grinning as the two realms collide within me.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Monday, May 5, 2008

Back to Kindergarten!

As I was driving home one evening last week, I was having an epiphany. You know how you remember the time and the place thing?

I was thinking about some people in my life and how we affect each other. And to be honest with you, I was offended. (Some that know me, might say that I get that way. God and I are working on it!) The offender is a person that I am accountable to in my life, and I always think about that Scripture that says, "Do not touch My anointed ones, And do my prophets no harm." I've always thought that this verse refered to only leaders, elders, people over us in our lives.

But God is stretching me, my understanding of the Bible and my own experiences. And He did just that when I was thinking of the verse in 1 Chron. 16:22 and Ps. 105:15.

God caused me to question Him on who really are His anointed? In 1 John 2:20, it says, "But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and you know all things." A few verses above this one, John refers to "little children". That's me! I am God's child and frankly, sometimes, I deserve to be called a child!

So...I am God's anointed...and so are the people that I am accountable to, and so are all of my brothers and sisters in Christ.

If I am to not touch (or harm) God's anointed, then that means all of His kids. All of us.

It's kind of like a catch-all rule. Everybody's anointed that are born again in Christ. So don't harm or talk against or hurt any of our brothers and sisters.

Amen?!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Friday, May 2, 2008

What's God Got Up His Sleeve?

I have just started the new book Miracle Workers, Reformers, and The New Mystics by John Crowder. It is going to be a life changing book, I can already tell.

It got me to thinking. If we as believers, are really into the supernatural, according to recent reports, the ultimate anointing is for the raising of the dead.

But I believe that God wants to go higher.

I don't at this time, know what higher is.

What could be wilder than raising the dead?

But I believe that there are more incredible, amazing things that through Jesus Christ, we will be able to do.

The only thing stopping us?

Us!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Whatchagonnachoose?

Wow! Nothing like letting the month of April go....south! Busy month, but being sick for around two weeks, gets a person behind!

But here I am!

God's Presence has been so sweet lately. So powerful.

I can feel other saints' praying for me. I feel them going before the Throne on my behalf. And I always want to bless them back. I pray, "God, please bless those who pray for me. Bless them back a hundred fold." (Not sure of punctuation there!) And I know that God does bless them back.

But what I have discovered is... the worship time, His Presence, the sweetness, is all tied into how I meet Him. The time that I give Him.

It is a direct result of how hungry that I am for Him.

Of how passionate I am for Him.

As the church gets busier, the Bride gets busier, Satan gets more and more intent on letting us believe that what we are doing, is all ok. "That's just the way it is."

The three Bible studies, the choir rehearsals, church bazaars are all good things, right?

But where does our dear Holy Spirit fit in. Those things are busyness, that maybe aren't really what we need to be doing. If we are so busy, and noisy, how can we learn to hear that still small voice?

I encourage us all to really check in with the Holy Spirit on what we are doing for God.

Maybe He just wants to sit on a park bench with us, and swing our legs back and forth, listening. Listening to the world, His world. Listening to His voice.

Maybe He just wants to have fun.

Whoah. But there are wars going on. There is poverty. There is (ick) a coming presidential election coming up.

And He just wants to sit on a park bench? (And swing our legs?!)

I think that He really wants us to get a hold of the fact that He really has all of those things handled, and He just wants to spend time with us.

Mary or Martha. There's time to be both.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Monday, April 7, 2008

Pushy and Persistent

This morning, in my devo time, my cat, Selah, tried to climb into my lap several times. But I was reading the Bible, and I put her off, so I could read.

But she persisted. And she got her way. As I prayed I rubbed her ears, her eyes (she loves that!), her paws (yes, she lets me do that, she lets me hold her paws!)(Okay, some of you are...oh well!)

And I went to my Father, and persisted in climbing into His lap. I pushed my way in.

And He welcomed me! He enveloped me! He rejoiced in my persistence. He opened up to me, so I could climb in.

He opened up my mind, my ears, my eyes! He rubbed my heart, softening it. He took the gunk out of my eyes, so I could see.

He cleaned out my ears, so I could hear His sweet voice.

I climbed onto my Father's lap.

I pushed my way in.

I climbed into my Father's lap.

I pushed my way in.

He welcomed me with His arms wide open.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I'm Ringin' the Dinner Bell. Come to the Table!

I ask God so many times for Him to reveal answers to me. To help me understand things in His Word that I know have deeper meanings.

He is so faithful to bring me those answers!

I was struggling recently over some things in my heart, knowing God would bring me to that place where I repent and let Him do what He needs to do in me.

I rarely turn on TV early. I want my time with Jesus. But last Monday I did, and God brought me the word that I needed. I needed that teaching to be set free. I needed to find the Grace and Mercy that He so willingly has for us all.

And I realized that this is what Psalms 23:5 is all about. "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies." I have always wondered what this really means. What does that look like? Does He get out the best silverware, the best tablecloth? (I just saw Him lifting a tablecloth up, all unfolded, in the air, getting ready to let it fall onto the table! I could blog on that!)

In the presence of my enemies of wrong attitudes, unrest, unforgiveness, sin, he feeds me the Word that I need at that time, to teach me, reprove me, (bust me!) and to set me free from those enemies.

It's just the right thing to feed me. It's at the right time. (5:30 am! But the right time!) And it is in front of the right enemies.

God is so faithful. Did I say that before?

God is so faithful!

God, please never quit teaching us and reproving us. Setting the table for Your Bride of Christ.

The more that I write, the more that I understand. The more that I seek Him, the more that I find Him.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Monday, March 31, 2008

What a Waste

I just finished reading a book called, "Akiane". It is about a 10 year old girl (in 2006 at the time of publishing) that has extraordinary gifts in art and writing. Her paintings are of a Master's quality, and her poetry is well advanced for her age.

This book, but also this girl, started me to thinking.

She had, at a young age, developed time with God. In fact, her parents were then atheists, and this was very strange to them.(You've gotta read the book!)

What I started thinking about was, I want to have what she has. Not only accomplishing great things in the arts, but her intimacy with God. About her being so pure.

She saw the Lord as He was. As He chose to reveal Himself to her.

Not as I probably do, with 56 years of experiences, opinions, and input.

She had a purity of heart and mind at the age of four when she met God. So she didn't add her embellishments or her thoughts. She just accepted Him as He appeared.

Like back to when Adam and Eve were first created in the Garden of Eden, before the Fall. They didn't have any experience with anything! No church that they had been attending. No baggage to drag into the relationship. They hadn't lived before! That is an odd thing to grasp!

No opinions!

When I think about all of my opinions, right or wrong, compared to them....

They didn't even have an Aunt Martha to inflict her opinions on them.

No, they were new creatures. Never having existed before.

No, they were literally new creations in Christ (John 1:3)

No, I mean literally. Brand spankin' new!

And that must be how Akiane must be, or was back when she was 4.

Every idea, every vision, was startling and fresh. And there was nothing that she couldn't do. Because no one had told her any different. God had told her that she could.

I want to do that. To have that. To be that.

And we can, if we believe the Word of God.

I believe that we have allowed ourselves to be so dumbed down by Satan, that we listen to his lies. And we forget who our Daddy is.

The Lord of Lords and the King of Kings. The Creator of all things.

Akiane spends the first part of each day, seeking God and sharing the intimacy that He wants with us.

I do that.

But I am going to take that one step further.

The ideas that He has given me? (And He has....)

I am going to act on them. Draw them. Use them. Write them. Just as I am now.

Not waste them and whine about how I never get to do what I was made to do!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Friday, March 21, 2008

Mirror Reflections Through My Own Eyes

Okay, this is going to sound weird.

I was getting myself ready for the day. You know, looking into the mirror, doing my hair. Putting on the makeup.

I kept seeing my reflection and sometimes, in the way that I moved, it reminded me of my mom.

Now, most of us, at that point, go "eeooww!".

Even when we have had a great relationship with our moms, we're not too sure that we want to become them! Or look like them.

But God gave me a different picture this morning. Because, yes, I started to go, "Oh, no, I look like my mom!".

But my mom is with the Lord now. She died over three years ago.

And you know, it might be nice to see Mom again, in my mirror reflections.

That's a whole different paradigm. It's kind of startling, but I'll get used to it!

And you know who else I see when I look into the mirror?

Since Jesus is my Lord and Savior, I see His eyes looking back at me through mine!

And guess who His Dad is! We have the same Dad!

So while you are there at your mirror, let Him tell you that He loves you. Let Him tell you how glad He is that you are His kid.

Because we are His kids, (you've heard this before, I'm sure, but it's so cool!)I have my Father's eyes!

And because I am my mom's kid, I have my mom's ornery glint in those eyes!

©BL2008

Friday, March 14, 2008

I'm an Imposter

I seem to be so bound.

I stay stuck in the old habits.

What's up with that, when I have a Savior who took care of all that?

So what's the problem?

Me?

I'm looking with these big wide eyes. And looking around me. Like, you mean... me? Finger pointing at my chest?

Me?

I think that the worst sin is not taking a hold of who and what Jesus died for us to be.

Yes, we are conquerors. Yes, we are kids of God. If we have repented, and asked Jesus to be our Lord and Savior, we have that.

But more than that.

I am called to be a writer, a creator. I make pottery. I create jewelry. I see things in a really funky way.

But do I make the time? So how does that make Father feel? Jesus feel? He died so I could be what He made me to be. And I am not doing or being it.

How disappointed He must be in me.

I'm good at being the conqueror. Telling demons to flee. I can do that.

For others.

But can I do that for me?

Those demons of fear of failure. Demons of I'm not worthy. Demons of what if I succeed. Demons of what will others think - bad, or good. Demons of let's just be normal. Demons of mediocrity. Demons of wasting time. (Oh yeah, I play Spider Solitaire before I write - I tell myself that it gets me in the mode. Ha! I'm procrastinating so I don't have to fail. That hurt.)

What did God put into your heart to be? What did you obsess about when you were little? Really. Me too!

That is who we were made to be.

That is what Jesus takes pleasure in, when we do or be it. He glows when we take up the pen. He holds His breath when we grab that clay. He jumps up and down when we tie up those shoelaces to run like the wind. He gets tears in His eyes when we pick up that child to tickle and snuggle.

Oh so sweet. To take up that cross that He died on. It wasn't just to enable us to crucify our flesh (Yeah. Me, too.) It was to take up that cross and be who He freed us to be!

So, I don't know about you, but....I'm getting out my pencils. I'm putting on my apron to cook. I'm cutting my fingernails so I don't pierce the pot of clay. I'm leaning over to tie my running shoes. I'm....you get the picture!

So free....So free!

Giggles from my Jesus.

©BL2008

Saturday, March 1, 2008

I'm Outa Control

How much time do you have?

Because I have a lot to write!

Make a cuppa and join me.

Monday, I was going to go pick up my daughter and go to another town to do errands and have some time together. As I drove out of my town, it was snowing terribly and I stopped and called my daughter. She assured me that it was doing nothing there, so I continued.

Have you ever wish you could have hit replay and done it differently?

We got to our destination, did our things, and headed back home. There were some icy patches here and there so I was going fairly slow. But I noticed up ahead that the road was pretty icy, so I slowed down even more. No brakes, just let up a bit.

Well we hit a place, and were on ice skates. Swerving back and forth, left and right. And then around and around. I remember scanning the road as we came around. No traffic. And as we slid around again, I was able to check the other way, and no traffic.

And I remember having a visual of my hands both on the steering wheel just trying to drive. Then crash! We had backed into the ditch and hit a tree.

That stopped us!

I got out and assessed the damage. My rear gate, bumper, and light were bashed and glass was everywhere. But we were both alright.

All I could say as we skimmed around in circles? "Jesus, Jesus."

Now I have been known to let a few words fly that weren't shall we say very polite?

But this time I called on my Lord, the Savior of my life.

Now I know that the obvious lesson is listen to the Holy Spirit. Or some might say, "listen to your gut!". And yes that is a huge lesson. Like in maybe I should have stayed home.

But as I think about the accident now, all I can see are my hands on the steering wheel and a spinning world through the windshield.

When we think we have it all under control, we are really spinning. Out of control. The only One in control is Jesus. He's got it all together. Not me.

We are so grateful that we are okay (yes, there are aches) and that there was minimal damage (yes, there are repairs and a financial hit), but we are fine.

I think that God is using this to prepare me for the future somehow. For when things spin out of control, He is in control.

Tough lesson.

I'm outa control.

©/BL2008

Monday, February 25, 2008

Cease and Desist

Have you ever had someone who wronged you? Trashed you? Even harmed you?

I see the hands up, and mine is up too.

I am a member of the Bagdad Prayer Patrol. A dear sister put me onto it. They send daily updates and prayers to pray over the people - all of the people - in Bagdad. Good and evil.

Well the one today was based on Ps. 37:7-9. "Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him; fret not yourself because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger and forsake wrath; fret not yourself - it tends only to evildoing." (Amplified)

Now I know that there are some very serious offenses that take place on this earth. Maybe I should say that I really have no idea how hurtful some have been. I only know what I have been through.

But nevertheless, it's all painful, in many degrees.

But this Scripture hit me today. It was to pray for the evil going on in Bagdad, but little did the writer know that I needed to read those verses for myself.

God tells us to first of all rest.

Rest? When I want to rant and rave?

Yes, even lean upon Him.

But to not fret about those who seem to get ahead (and get away with) by doing wrong.

Whether it is doing physical harm to a person? Or stealing from them. Or saying cruel things.

We are to stop being angry about it and run away from wrath. I think wrath should be described as I'm-going-to-kill-you angry. Where you could kill in order to get back. (I'm not writing from jail. I am your normal? American woman with a regular life. But as we've seen from the news, it doesn't take just a terrorist to react in anger and do devastation.)

I'm not just talking about war, where there are real bullets.

I'm talking about when your mother-in-law says to a young friend, as you open the garage door, "Oh, just look at this mess." The young friend even knows better than to say those things to a person, even if it is true. Oooooo.

I'm talking about when your child says harsh things to you in their anger and frustration. Tears.

When a business partner does indescribable things to you and your family. Pain.

Anger.

Kill.

Maim.

But no.

My staying in anger, only tends to evildoing.

Yes, MY anger. Yeah, the other person should maybe be jailed, but we're talking about our own anger here.

So I am being transparent in front of you all. The issue isn't about what was done to us, but what we do with what was done to us.

It's to the cross daily. Dying to ourselves.

Leaning on Him.

Fretting not.

Ceasing.

And being still in Him.

©BL2008

Friday, February 15, 2008

Gone Fishin'

I am reading through the Gospels. I want to really learn what Jesus did and will do and what I can do, only greater (John 14:12).

Matthew 17:24-27 is interesting. Apparently when they got into Capernaum, the tax collectors asked Peter if Jesus had paid his temple tax. Or they asked him if Jesus paid the half shekel, kind of checking how much Jesus paid. Now I really want to dig in and learn about the background, the culture. I always do that, and then this gets too long! So I won't here and now. At a later date!

Peter came home and he and Jesus talked about it. Jesus told Peter that he should go to the sea and throw in a hook. He was to take the first fish that came up, and when he would open it's mouth, there would be a shekel in it. Peter was to take that shekel and go pay the temple tax for both Jesus and Peter.

So the thoughts that went around in my head? It could have happened a couple of ways.

One way? As Peter is finding his way to the sea, I see him climbing over rocks to get to the beach area, mumbling. "Catch a fish? To pay the taxes?" This is where I'd be!

But had Peter seen so many miracles, so many supernatural things, that he just said, "Yeah, okay. I'll get us a mocha on the way. Be right back!"

Or was he talking to himself on the way? "Crazy. This is crazy! How does a fish have a shekel in it? And how does Jesus know it's the first fish? Crazy!"

Or did he believe, but have to talk to himself all the way there. "I believe Jesus. He is the Truth!" Fighting the unbelief all of the way.

Does this ever come up again? I'm going to find out! There is nothing following this part that says, "Yup! Peter found the fish with the shekel in it's mouth and he went and paid the tax. And Jesus liked the mocha!"

And since it's tax time here in the United States, my brain goes....can that happen today? And how?

Some would explain that things like this just happen symbolically. But.... I don't think so. (I'm sticking my neck out here!) I don't think that I believe that.

Yes, there are wonderful applications of this, but I think we are keeping our Maker and Provider in that box again.

Let's knock down the walls of that box and let Jesus be who He is! Not what we think he is! Or what we are comfortable with.

Let's let Him come how He wants to. Let's let Him look like He is!

And if He wants me to go fishing to get my tax money, I'm down!

Oh,and if you can't find me? I'm at the store buying my hook!

©BL2008

Thursday, February 14, 2008

The Streets of......Gold?

Last week as I was soaking with God on the floor, I saw what I knew to be the end of some movie. It was a shot of a city at night. Cars were moving along on a huge freeway. The camera was moving out for a wide shot.

And the feeling was of all people, being where they needed to be - physically, spiritually. Like all is resolved.

And as I journaled this, it was almost about being back to the Garden of Eden, but in this world. Cars moving, lights beautiful.

Was it a picture of eternal life?

I think that we think of the afterlife as a..... I mean the streets of gold for pete's sake! But I wonder if it will be exactly as it is now, only with out the sin, or the ravages of sin.

If you think technology is wild now, just wait. Think of all of the inventions, innovations! The imaginations without sin! The creativity! The arts! The music?

All without sin!

Incredible.

©BL2008

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Cut the Flesh

I'm back! I sound like the ghost or monster on a movie. "I'm ba-ack!"

Been gone with hubby. Good stuff.

I just had a realization. I have been praying for a revelation of the Cross. I didn't even know what I meant by praying that. I just felt led by dear Holy Spirit to pray that. I wanted to know where He wanted me to go.

But just now as I journaled, He gave me that revelation. I didn't hear ten thousand angels sing. There was no lightning. But I know a little more than I did before. And it is really simple, but those simple teachings are the best.

Every time that I have hurt feelings, I want to stay in that. Wallow in it. In the sludge. But every time that I submit it to the Holy Spirit, I crucify that flesh.

Every time I want to react in anger, I want to keep it. Carry the anger. Make it mine. But Holy Spirit wants me to submit it to Him.

Every time that I feel left out, snubbed, forgotten, I need to get under His Wings.

Submit, submit, submit. Crucify, crucify.

Go to the Cross.

When I submit, when I crunch that flesh, I am going to the cross to die to myself.

"I die daily." 1 Cor. 15:31.

That is death to self. Crucify the flesh.

Go to the Cross.

©BL2008