Hard Hats and Crowns

Recently, as I have talked with several people, stuff has come up. You know....like stuff.

Like sin.

That word that we don't want to talk about.

Also, I have been reading a book by Craig Groeschel, entitled "Confessions of a Pastor". He gets it all out there.

And that started my brain to cooking.

I was thinking about how we tend to brush stuff under the rug of our hearts, so to speak.

Get a picture. Say we stole a piece of candy at age 6, and by the time we are 30, we are stealing from the office, or from our parents. Ouch.

Or maybe we were shown a nude picture when we were 8, and by the time we are 30 or so, (that age is sticking!) we are into full-blown porn.

Or try this one. What if when we were three, we were made fun of so badly, that from then on we grew to hate ourselves. So that by the time we were adults, we hated ourselves so badly, that we covered up with make-up. Had to have our hair just perfect. Don't want to look bad. As bad as we feel on the inside about ourselves.

So by the time we are adults, we have swept so much under there, that the rug is covering the mountain in the middle of our living room. Like in the movie "Close Encounters of the Third Kind", where he builds a mountain in the family room.

And along with the dirt, are old pictures. Documents of lies. Daggers aimed at ourselves. Rusted dreams.

And if we allow someone to peek under the rug, they lay it down real fast. It stinks under there. Oooo, compost.

But what if. What if we allowed our Jesus to lift up a corner. And bring His broom and dustpan. Or really get down, with His backhoe loader, and articulated dump truck. Or His waste handler dozer! (Check out the John Deere site - I love it!)

Jesus is sitting in the operator's seat with His hard hat on, moving all of the levers. Picking up a load and moving it to the dump truck. And back for more.

Soon that mountain in the room of our hearts is getting smaller and smaller as we let Him move more out. As we submit to His cleansing. It's not fun. It hurts.

But.

As He gets us closer and closer to where He wants us to be, He gets more and more tender with us. He whispers into our heart and washes us clean.

Gentleness.

Wholeness.

Soon there will be nothing under the rug, but our hearts.

Then He takes the hard hat off, and exchanges it for the crown that He is best known for. The King of Glory meets His Bride.

©BL2007

The Cat and Me

I write about what is around me. And right now, it's my cat. I have written about her before, but this is a different take. She found an old pearl, but not pearl, necklace this morning. She kind of gave me a look, like, "look what I found"! And, "you just gave me string and old toys to play with, but I found a beautiful necklace"! (I know, I can get alot out of her expression!)

She ran with the necklace. She tossed it. She hid it under an afgan. She slept with it.

And as I watched her play with it, I delighted in her cat-ness. How she took it and hid it under the afgan, and pretended that she didn't know where it was, and found it again. She's a hoot.

And I felt Father looking over my shoulder, and reminding me that He delights in me when I am myself, too. When I really tap into the gifts that He put in me, He is delighted.

Even when He is correcting me, which seems to be happening alot lately! Prov. 3:12, "For whom the Lord loves he corrects; just as a father the son in whom he delights."

He delights in me.

So I am going to do my best today, to be and do what He put into me, to be and do!

I'll write! There are other things I could be doing, yes. But when I get writing done each day, I feel satisfied. Because I am being me.

©BL2007

Feeling Blue Answers

I got a fast email from a sister in Christ. She sent the information in answer to my question about "feeling blue".

She and I share children. Her son is married to my daughter!

Thank you, thank you!

Here is what it said.

"If you are sad and describe yourself as "feeling blue," you are using a phrase coined from a custom among many old deepwater sailing ships. If the ship lost the captain or any of the officers during its voyage, she would fly blue flags and have a blue band painted along her entire hull when returning to home port."

It is from a Navy term site. Interesting!

Feeling blue

My son left today for another step in his life. He has been down some roads that a mom would not wish, but God is definitely using them for His Glory now.

But I am feeling blue. I am staying busy, and inspired, but blue.

I started thinking about where on earth did 'feeling blue' come from.

Not feeling purple. Not feeling green. (Green with envy! Is that another blog?!)

Okay, I am putting out a plea. I have looked online for awhile and haven't come up with any folklore, or why we say we are blue, when depressed or down-in-the dumps. (Okay, there is another metaphor! Where does it come from?!)

Really. Where does it come from? When we lack oxygen, we turn blue. Is that a clue?

Readers, if you are out there, let me know what you find!

Washers, and Dryers, and Unbelief

I was sitting this morning by the window where I spend my first moments (sometimes hours - those of you with a calling to sit at the feet of the Father will understand!) of the day. I saw a pickup truck filled with old appliances, washers, dryers, etc., drive by.

It made me think of the used washer and dryer that my husband got from his mom this last month, during her move. He said that they are for the building that we will build for our business. I chuckled. No, I laughed in annoyance. Yeah, right. We store them in our garage, for how long, until we finally get rid of them? Because like, there's never going to be a building. Huh.

Okay, next on the bunny trail, is to Genesis 18:1. Where Araham had God appear to him with maybe two angels. Abraham, with Sarah's help, showed them hospitality. He showed them where to freshen up, and then they shared a meal. It wasn't just cheese and crackers, but it was the bomb burrito of a fatted calf. (How do you dress and prepare a fatted calf, a whole cow, and get it done in time for dinner?)

As they were eating, they asked about Sarah, and where she was.

Abraham said that she was in the tent. Meanwhile, God told Abraham that the next time that He came around, Sarah would have a son.

Sarah was actually listening in on the conversation behind the tent door. And she laughed. She laughed, not in faith and excitement and wonder, like Abraham did in Genesis 17:17.

No, Sarah laughed in contempt. Scoffing. Yeah, right, I'll have a son. She was well beyond child bearing years.

Abraham laughed in faith and wonder. Sarah laughed in unbelief.

My husband spoke in faith. I answered in unbelief.

Okay, so now I am making a sign for the washer and dryer that says, "For the new building". In faith. In repentance!

©BL2007

Words and Sludge

I was in a service Sunday, at my regular church. We are pretty free at our church, where if a person receives a 'word' from the Lord, they are free, at the proper time to give it. And it happens every Sunday there. It is such a blessing, as when the pastor finally gets up to preach, he just laughs because the words given beforehand are just what God had given him to preach on. So fun!

And a few days ago, I was talking with someone about giving words of what we feel we hear from God for others. And we had a warning about giving and receiving words from people. We need to operate in God's Wisdom.

And then I get this goofy picture of someone spoonfeeding someone else. A bite at a time.

If it is a true Word from the Lord, as it is tasted, it is sweet. "I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste." Song of Solomon 2:3b.

And "Oh taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in Him." Ps 34:8.

But what if that word is not from the Lord? What if it is of the flesh? Well intended, but flesh.

I may have written about this before, but it applies here also. I have a mom-in-law that is precious. I love her. She is born-again. But because of things that happened to her in her childhood, she sometimes says very hurtful things, and they seem to be aimed at me or my daughter.

It got so bad that when we would be planning to go see her, I would go through turmoil, because it had started to cause me to dread going to see her. Yeah, I know. Dread is of fear. Okay, I was afraid to see her, for fear of what she would say to me.

It came to a head one day when I was crying out to God. I knew in my heart of hearts, that I could be victorious over this situation, short of putting silver duct tape over her mouth!

God gave me a vision, of me sitting at a table, across from her. She was dipping a huge spoon into a bowl of really nasty stuff. Sludge. And feeding it to me. I was actually watching her do this and willingly opening my mouth to take the bite. I was taking it in.

God told me that I don't have to take it in. I am not required to open my mouth, or even sit at the table with her, clamping my lips closed, getting it all over my mouth.

I don't have to take it in.

But what if it is a good word? A word sent by the Lord to encourage me, to lift me up?

So the picture? Me sitting at a table, across from Jesus. It may be just a picnic table. Wooden, rough. He is dressed in His best warrior's uniform. Beautiful. He looks into my eyes, and picks up the spoon. It's a vintage spoon, old but solid. He dips it into the bowl in front of Him and gives me a bite.

Sweet and good. Goes down like Mom's best pumpkin pie. (Thanksgiving is coming!) Mmmm.....And it does the work that He sent it to do. Even if the word is convicting and correcting. It still goes down well.

Good for me and nourishing my soul.

So my lesson? Do my best to hear from the Holy Spirit. Do my best to develop that intimacy, so that I really hear His voice. Let Him teach me to hear Him.

And don't take bites from strangers!

©BL2007

Who's counting?

The other day I told Father that I was tired of having to go to Him and cry out for Him to repair my broken heart. Why can't I just not get it broken? Why do people always have to hurt me? Why can't I get a grip on getting offended?

James 1:19 blasted me. In the Amplified it reads, "Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry."

I am quick to take offense. I easily get angry. I easily ask 'how many times do I have to do this?'

And the answer? It's about forgiveness. If I don't get offended, I don't need to forgive. Right?

God is working a great work within me. About not getting offended, and not dragging it to the anger degree.

But how many times? How long do I have to do this?

Jesus says in Matt. 18:22, "I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven!"

I guess when my heart is right. That's how many times.

©BL2007