His Presence

Mother's Day came and went. I went to church. Had a great time with God. With my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

Took my mother-in-law out to do her shopping, her heavy stuff. God taught me some stuff that day, but that's a whole other blog! We met my hubby and we three went out to eat. Wonderful meal. Good time.

Took her home and put away her goods. She was so appreciative. Had prayer.

And found my way home.

At home, I was a lost puppy. Something wasn't right. Something felt so wrong.

But I know. I missed my kids. I missed their shadows on my doorstep. I did see two at church, but so short a time. One is almost in another country he's so far away. And another and his family are a long ways away too. They all called - don't get me wrong. They are wonderfully thoughtful. Always good. But there is something about their presence. Their touch. Their hugs. Their presence. I was missing their presence.

How much more must God feel when we don't turn to Him. When we read His Word, but don't give into the tug on our hearts. We can be reading His Word, and brush Him aside and say "Not now, I'm reading." We can be doing a good thing. Of the Lord. But if we don't acknowledge him, it's for nothing. It's meaningless.

Some who will read this will wonder what is wrong with her. But some will know. Some who sit at His feet. Who lie in soak mode. Who crawl up on His lap. Some won't understand. But some will.

Maybe a year ago or so, I was visiting my son at Teen Challenge (he was a student there - no not staff - he was a cocaine addict and dealer). We found ourselves in church and during a wonderful worship time, I heard Lord say, "I've missed you," into my heart.

Where had I been? I had been wallowing in my own pain. In my anger. Not even pulling on His robes. Not even looking His way. Walking away on my self-made lonely road.

But He welcomed me back. Just as when my kids can come home? I will welcome them with open arms and say "I've missed you!"