balloffire

Big Footsteps

2011-01-22T19:07:00.003-05:00

I have a bracelet made by my daughter that says, "I walk in my Father's footsteps."

I treasure it because she made it, but it is my life's purpose - to walk in Father God's steps.

With all the snow we are scooping, I 'see' me hopping in Daddy's footsteps, just to keep up!

Tiny me. Big Him!

My Daddy Says So!

2011-01-10T14:33:00.002-05:00

As we enter this New Year, it's easy to let ourselves be robbed of the joy we had at Christmas.

Today was one of those days.

"We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose." Rom. 8:28. Ampl.

Everything works out okay. It always has and always will. No matter what.

Because that's what my Father's Word says.

My Daddy says so!

This Hurts

2010-10-14T17:33:00.002-04:00

So I asked Him. "Lord, what are You doing? This hurts."

And He answered.

"You asked Me to prepare the Bride for the Bridegroom."

Hunkered Down In The Cave

2010-10-09T10:35:00.004-04:00

Been sitting on John 14:6. "Jesus said to him, I am the Way and the Truth and the Life; no one comes to the Father except by (through) Me." Amplified version.

This morning I just went to "I am the Way."

Then - "He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake." Ps. 23:3b

The Way. Paths. Are we going on an adventure, God?

Another - Ps. 139:24b. "and lead me in the way everlasting."

Then boop! He gives me a visual of He and I walking/hiking/climbing through very rough terrain. Very rocky mountains. I see no trees! Just rocks!

Jesus is holding my hand. Directing my feet. "Oops, see that stone there? Step over it." Or "kick it!"

He is the Way. We are going through this life together.

Then at a certain point we reach a protected place with a sweet pool of water.

A cave?

I hear the water dripping, echoing off the walls of the cave. See it reflecting. Smell the clean fresh air.

It isn't dark. He is the Light of the world. And He is right beside me. He lights my way, my paths.

Where is the pool? The cave?

"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty." Ps. 91:1

Nuf said.

Insults and Scorn

2010-07-11T15:52:00.004-04:00

Was reading Psalm 69. Starts out "Save me," and "I am forced to restore what I did not steal." Wrongfully accused.

Further down. "Oh God, You know my folly and blundering; my sins and my guilt are not hidden from You."

More. "Because for Your sake I have borne taunt and reproach;" and "When I wept and humbled myself with fasting, I was jeered at and humiliated;"

I ended up asking God when have I wept and humbled myself? When have I for zeal for Your house endured the church eating me up? When have I become a stranger to brethren, born taunt and reproach?

Father said, "You didn't have to. Jesus did it for you."

Amen.

Jesus, You took away my reproach. Bore my sins, insults, and scorn.

"What is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You care for him?" Ps. 8:4. You create the heavens and the earth. You are Creator of the universe.

And You died for us on that cross.

Focus!

2010-06-10T11:58:00.004-04:00

Learning. God is so patient.

Been in Ezek. 40:4. All of Ezekiel, but I'm sitting on that verse.

In this book, an angel took Ezekiel in the spirit, to view the temple. The angel measured it with a reed and told all the measurements and configurations to Ezekiel. Then told Ezekiel to tell all to the house of Israel!

Now if that had been me, I would have said, "Ju ... just a minute, while I go get my notebook. I'll never remember all that!"

Uh-huh.

Verse 4. "And the man said to me, son of man, look with your eyes, and hear with your ears and set your heart and mind on all that I will show you, for you are brought here that I may show them to you. Declare all that you see to the house of Israel."

In other words - focus!! Set your heart.

Ezekiel wasn't an angel. He wasn't a robot. A droid. (DROID!) He was a human, like you and me.

He did just that. He remembered all and wrote it down for us.

God is challenging me.

I went to a writer's conference recently and attended a class taught by Angela Hunt. She demonstrated to us something similar. Her Memory Palace. She had us choose a category - plants. We spoke out about 18-20 different species and she envisioned her neighborhood, placing each plant there. She was able to recite back to us each plant kind without peeking! Amazing!

I believe she was using Ezek. 40:4. And I can too!

I'm gonna work up to my grocery list!

On the Hot Seat

2010-03-19T17:53:00.003-04:00

Yesterday morning, I was thinking. Yeah. I know. It's dangerous.

When I first set up this blog with the title, Ball of Fire Woman, five people had spoken fire, or ball of fire, over me, in prayer.

I just realized I might have jumped to conclusions with what God meant. Fire. Ball of Fire. I got kinda puffed up. "Yeah! I'm on fire for God! I'm hot!" HA!

Maybe He was just telling me that He has a lot of crap He needs to burn out of me!

Uh huh.

Ouch.

Open Letters

2010-02-22T14:45:00.003-05:00

Yeah. I know. It's been a long time since I've written!

All excuses. ... but I've been ... yeah. I have been writing a novel, if that works!

Anyway, this morning, I felt God nudging me with 2 Cor. 3:2,3.

"[No] you yourselves are our letter of recommendation (our credentials), written in your hearts, to be known (perceived, recognized) and read by everybody. You show and make obvious that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, not written with ink but with [the] Spirit of [the] living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts."

We are letters from Christ. What is in our hearts by the Holy Spirit, speaks volumes to others about where we spend our time.

Ouch!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Speak it Out!

2009-05-22T13:13:00.005-04:00

It has been 2 months since my last post. I am well, but very busy!

I have been in Exodus, chapters 14 and 15.

God's people looked back and saw the Egyptians coming after them, looked forward and saw the Red Sea blocking their way, and started whining and crying. Moses told them to fear not. "The Lord will fight for you," he said.

God moved and stood between Israel and their enemies! And as the chariots moved forward, God bogged the wheels down! Amazing!

The huge part is that Moses stretched forth his hand over the sea (after he had parted the sea the same way!) and the sea returned to its normal flow, drowning the Egyptians.

Afterward, God's people were dancing and singing praises to Him. Ex. 15:13-16 really stuck out to me. The news of what God did for his children spread all over, even to other enemies. The Philistines, men of Edom, Moab, Canaan. Terror fell on them and melted their hearts.

I was then reminded of Rev. 12:11, "And they have overcome (conquered) him by means of the blood of the Lamb and by the utterance of their testimony, for they did not love and cling to life even when faced with death." (Ampl.) It says here that they conquered the devil by the telling of their testimonies.

Our enemies are conquered by telling what God has done for us! Fear has to go when we tell of how good He is to us! And terror fills the hearts of our enemies when we speak of God's greatness!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Hand to Hand

2009-03-20T08:45:00.004-04:00

A few days ago, I went back home to a family funeral. My cousin and I were sitting with her mom (who is my mom too!).

As we started to file out, my cousin leaned over to ask if I would take her mom's hand and be on one side of her while my cousin held her on the other side.

So I took her hand and tucked her arm under mine and we walked out of the church.

She doesn't see well at all and needs a walker. She is as sharp as a tack though! And funny.

I have a picture of her hand in my mind though. As I got out of the pew, I turned around and looked for her hand to grab and reached for it.

There she is - not sure of herself - not able to see well.

What is she thinking? "How am I going to walk down this aisle? Do people see me? What do others think and see?"

And this hand reaches out to grab hers and tucks her arm in arm and someone else on the other side, walks with her. She is surrounded, empowered, blessed, comforted. Enabled to do what she needs to do.

I have such a picture of her hand. Waiting, immobile, unsure.

Then - contact. Peace arrives!

God is so like that. He is waiting for the moment. He sees our unsure hands - our hesitation. We can't see what's ahead.

And through a sweet word from a person, or someones touch. Or a direct Word from Him...an answer from someone who saw, and followed through on the Holy Spirit.

He reaches out and grasps our hand, our heart, at just the right moment. He sees the indecision and grabs our heart. Leads us to where we need to be.

So sweet. So powerful.

Let us be willing, looking for His guidance to lead us into those paths of righteousness and peace. In our daily life - areas of insecurity.

Draw us there Father!

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound?

2009-03-04T21:31:00.004-05:00

It's been so long, that blogspot didn't know who I am! Too long since I write! It's evening and I'm tired! We'll see what comes out!

God has taken me on so many treasured hunts, lately. I am learning so much.

So much about His plan for us. So much more than we realize. All empowered because of the Cross.

I am learning how science is finally catching up with the Word of God.

I am learning about the power of our tongue, or rather our words. How as they are spoken out into the atmosphere, they affect the things and people around us in a scientific way. I don't understand it enough to go into it more here.

I just know that God has so much more for us. I'm not even sure how to say it here.

Recent readings: JoAnn McFatter, John Paul Jackson.

Inspiring. Thought provoking.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Play in the Midst of the Storm

2009-01-24T12:30:00.003-05:00

Yesterday it snowed. The wind blew and it was cold.

Not really unusual for Nebraska. Except for the fact that we enjoyed two utterly delightful days before that! 50's and 60's!

Spring fever here I come!

Was trying to make myself write some really ugly things! A synopsis for my book, cover letters, bios, etc.! Ick! Not flowing!

Sooo...I was looking out the window for inspiration. Into the snow blowing down.

Depressing.

Until I noticed two squirrels chasing each other around in the storm. It was close to a blizzard, not just snow flurries. (For those that don't know snow jargon, snow flurries are like rain spatters. This was a blizzard!)

Goofy squirrels. My thoughts...should be in their burrow, or nest, or tree. Whatever.

Then I realized that they run into the storm. They play in the storm. They jump and chase each other completely oblivious to anything else. Having fun.

Hmmm...okay. I get it.

I need that lesson for me.

There are storms. There are tough times.

But when we find ourselves in those times, we need to leave the comfort zones and go play. No, more than that.

See, they probably knew that they have a whole pile of nuts in their...uh...house. They weren't worried. They were set.

We don't need to worry, because we have the Creator of the Universe in us.

We can enjoy this life that Jesus died to give us. That He created here on earth.

I'm not going to chase around in the snow, but I will enjoy this day.

This life.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Spiritual Autoimmune Disorder

2008-12-16T11:17:00.005-05:00

Last week, things really hit home, when my community honored a fallen soldier, Rob Yllescas.

As I was sitting with God, I asked Him how He feels when we hurt each other.

He designed us for many special reasons. To have a relationship with Him. With each other.

But we mistreat each other, hate people that are different. Different size, different race. Genders. Cultures.

That person looks a little odd. They must be inferior.

Another person lives a little different, so we abuse them. We ostracize them.

Or kill them.

I just did some research on our immune system. Amazing how God made us. He is so creative. Thought of everything.

Stay with me. I will bring this together!

The site above states, our "immune system mistakenly attacks the body's healthy organs and tissues as though they were foreign invaders."

As God's family, we do the same thing.

We become our own autoimmune disease of humanity, and kill each other from the inside out.

God have mercy on us and forgive us.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Busted & Burned

2008-11-18T10:38:00.004-05:00

This morning I am so convicted.

Have I prayed as I should for my family? For my nation?

Have I cried over our sin? Have I come to my Lord with passion, crying out for my neighbors? When have I remembered my friends?

Recently we have had a friend's son-in-law hit by the war - literally. I can't relate all of what has gone on...read it on his wife's blog.... Amazing stuff. She is a very good communicator, but gutsy in sharing her heart. Her fears.

Many have posted comments following her post. I find myself agreeing in prayer with the writers.

And weeping.

And getting a great big sense of the power of this thing called prayer.

And getting convicted.

I pray. Don't get me wrong, but as I speak those words that are powerful in and of themselves, is my heart attached? Am I just speaking? Or am I connecting with the Power of the Ages. Jesus, the One Christ. Jesus, our Savior, but Jesus, the Resurrection Power.

As I draw close to my God, He draws close to me. And the angels bring every prayer offered for this family. As We (Him and me!) pray, there is a power released that surpasses all understanding.

Burn out the dross, Lord. Burn in me the passion to pray for all. I bring me to the cross. Crucify my flesh - the me. "Create in me a clean heart Oh God."

That my prayers may be effectual, fervent, and availing much. (James 5:16)

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Smiley Face

2008-11-07T13:35:00.003-05:00

I am at my son and daughter-in-law's home visiting.

And playing! Things like train, cars, tickle, reading books! Fun! Celebrating a three-year-old's birthday! Fun again!

Also getting to know the littlest in the clan. A one month old baby boy.

Getting in on some of his first smiles is just the sweetest thing.

How do they know to smile? How does that start?

God made us with a God sized place in our hearts. Do they feel Him? Do they sense His presence and smile? I know as they begin to really see our eyes, they smile back, but the first ones I think come from within.

So blessed!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

No Fear/All Fear

2008-11-01T15:04:00.004-05:00

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;" Ps. 111:10

I have been praying for more of God's wisdom in my life. I figured - look what Solomon did with his life - it couldn't hurt mine!

Aside from the flippant attitude, I want God's wisdom in my life. Yes, for this natural life - daily stuff like finances, relationships, etc. But also, and especially, in the spiritual or supernatural life.

In order to get me to the wisdom place, God has been doing a thing in my life that has brought on great humility, huge respect - yes fear.

It's not the "Duck! Here it comes!" fear. "Look out...!" I am, with God's help, redefining fear.

And I realized today, that He is answering my prayer for more wisdom in my life through the fear of the Lord.

Did I get wisdom to know the right answers? What to do when? Sometimes.

But His real goal is my heart.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Farming 101

2008-10-15T12:02:00.004-04:00

I love it when God explains a verse, or a concept to me. Something I have been pondering gets a greater revelation. I love it. It frees me. It instructs me. It blesses me that the God of the Universe takes the time to help me understand.

I read Matthew 25 this morning about the 10 virgins and farther in, about the talents.

When I read verses 24-26, Lord reminded me of when He blessed me to witness to a friend years ago. I was so young in the Walk that I didn't realize what I was doing. I just answered her questions. Afterward I realized (and freaked out! Did I do it right?) that I had been witnessing to her. I just spoke my heart!

Years later, I got the chance to meet with her at her church and she introduced me to the woman that led her to the Lord. The woman harvested what she had not sown! She watered the seed that the Lord led me to plant. Praise God!

Thus illustrating these verses in a different light.

And as I thought about that meeting of three women, my friend and I, and her friend, I felt the swirling in the supernatural world, as destinies were changed. A portion of the world is changed due to kids of Father's reaping where we have not planted. Gathering in the harvest where we have not sown.

Praise God!

Yes, that I received greater revelation of His Word, but that another kid is back home with her Daddy!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

I Own Time

2008-09-11T12:18:00.003-04:00

Wow this is already middle September. Where does the time go? I remember as I grew up, the ladies would say that all of the time.

"Time flies. Time goes so fast! Where did this day go?"

Had a thought. And you know that I am partly deranged! But, I think that we make time go faster. I think that it's our fault!

We can't wait until this or that is done or over.

"I can't wait until I'm out of school. I can't wait until I'm married. I can't wait until I'm not. I can't wait until vaca. I can't wait to get back home."

On and on.

Are we ever happy? Content?

Just as our words have power, I think that our discontent has power.

As I wish for this day to be over, does it actually go faster?

As I say, "I can't wait to get back home," does the trip go quicker and I maybe loose a chance that God had an appointment for me?

Can we change time with our words?

Maybe I am crazy. (Oh I opened up a door...) But what if I'm not? What if I'm on to something here.

What if I just lost a day by saying those things.

A month.

A year.

"Time goes so fast."

God help me to "just be." You have spoken that over me so many times. Soothing me.

"Just be."

Help me embrace each moment. Each day.

But help me realize the power of my words.

Your Word says that I can do anything you did and "even greater things than these." (John 14:12)

Soo...you created the heavens and the earth....

I have my bar set too low!

And I will try to listen to myself as I go through each day.

I have enough time as my pastor says.

To do all that He has set before me to do.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Win Win!

2008-09-02T21:19:00.006-04:00

Okay, this is kinda off my usual, but my daughter sent me this link.

We have been shopping, or shall I say, oogling these shirts for awhile. So when this opportunity came up, we jumped!

All we have to do is blog about why we support JesusBranded , and email them a link of this blog entry, and they send us a coupon for a free shirt! Easy?

These are the coolest designs, ones that we will be proud to wear. But as a testimony for our love of Jesus.

Oh, another blessing? More people see my blog!

Ya can't loose!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

You and Me, Baby!

2008-08-20T13:14:00.004-04:00

Just got back from a family vaca. Such fun! My little grands are so cute! (Of course!) And we played hard!

Had some really blessed time with God too, which is remarkable considering a 5 year old and 2 year old in the house! But their little body clock is on a different time zone than mine, so I sometimes get an hour with God before they wake up. I like to give their parents some sleep in time if I can! I remember!

In one of my prayer times, as I wrote, I was praying for a submissive spirit for my whole family and me. Submitting to God. To let Him do what He needs to do in each of us.

As we grow in Him, we submit ourselves to God, so that He would increase and we would decrease. (John 3:30)

That doesn't mean that we are all Him. I don't think that He meant it that way.

At first, we are all so full of ourselves, that we need to decrease. But as we give up more of ourselves to God, we let more of Him in. We have that partnership with Him. We hear His voice and follow Him.

But as our hearts become more of Him, we walk beside Him.

He walks a little ahead of us, leading us.

Sometimes He walks behind us, giving us the broom!

Sometimes taking our hand, His arm around us, walking beside us.

It's a partnership. Romans 8:28 in the Amplified version says, "We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose."

Some people say, "It's all God. It's all Him." But those are my fingers typing away on the keyboard right now!

It's a friendship that we can enjoy, doing what He put into us to do and be.

Embracing the things that capture our hearts.

And in doing that we capture His heart!

He is so pleased when we enjoy the things in our lives, that He designed us to be!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Size XXXXXXXXXXXXXX...Large

2008-08-03T14:40:00.004-04:00

Was praying this morning - Lord, help me submit all that I am. All that I have.

I saw myself sitting at a table with the Holy Spirit. I had a bunch of jars filled with some incredible things. I felt that they were very valuable. Quart jars full.

And there was one pint jar with a pop bottle cap, some marbles, and some trash in it.

I looked at all of the jars. Some were very precious to me. My kids. My husband. My dreams. My favorite T-shirt. The things that I have created. Money.

I tried to give you the big ones. The valuable ones.

But I took them back.

I pushed the pint jar with the junk in it across the table, hoping that you would accept that as a sacrifice. I told you that the marbles are really valuable. They're vintage for pete's sake. And my cat would die for that bottle cap. The trash? Something has to fill the landfill. If no trash, no landfill. Oh, no.

You just shake your head in wonder. When are we gonna do more than just mouth those words?

When are we going to give it all?

So, later this morning during worship, I gave you my precious daughter who has the voice of an angel. She is yours. I gave you my other kids. My grandkids. My Dearly Beloved. My dreams. My past. My failures. My future. My dreams for my kids. My drawings. My writing. My visions. They're all yours.

And I'm pulling open the drawers to find that T-shirt. Is it your size God?

Doesn't matter. You want it all, no matter if I think that you can use it or not.

You want it all.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Cut Through the Crap!

2008-07-28T16:46:00.002-04:00

As we get in a mess of the mind (I think you know what I mean...where we battle back and forth and listen to lies, and speak to the lies, and then...all over again!) we question ourselves and where we are with God.

I did it just today. Asking Him if I was in sin and Him telling me that He took care of that. I had already repented for the offense, but I kept bringing it back up.

We need to cut through the crap (yes, crap!).

I 'see' piles of crap on either side of me and me walking through it all.

And climbing onto the lap of my Father.

As we ignore it all and walk past it into His arms, He sets us free!

He is lifting us up onto His lap, we turn around - glance back - and it is all gone!

The garbage in our minds is gone!

Because as we climb into the lap of the Father, we let go of all the stuff, and He handles it all!

Let Him Have It

2008-07-21T10:53:00.002-04:00

Yesterday at church, I had a vision during worship.

I saw myself walking toward the front from the back. I had an armload of papers, junk. Stuff.

As I walked, I kept dropping some. I'd go back to pick it up and loose another 5 pieces.

I got up front and kept trying to keep it all in my arms. I even saw myself leaning down to pick up another piece, saying, "Oh, I need this. It's from 1927!"

Wow!

I started to just drop it all and I opened my arms up wide and a whirlwind came and took it all up to Heaven.

He wants it all.

He can handle it all.

He wants it all!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Well, Shut My Mouth!

2008-07-09T09:04:00.004-04:00

Whoa! It has been a month since I have blogged! My excuse? Grandkids. We are having to close down our business. Just excuses!

I had an interesting revelation this morning though.

When we first learn about the Holy Spirit, we are so interested, freaked out, passionate, by all of the manifestations. The main one being speaking in tongues. We practice (only in the bathroom!), read every book about it (there are many), learning to let it flow.

Releasing even our tongues to the Holy Spirit, flowing in that Heavenly language.

But now Holy Spirit is teaching me, admonishing me to hold my tongue.

To not speak freely what is on my mind. To not chatterbox. Not speaking without thinking or checking in with Him.

To guard my heart and mind, my thoughts, my speech.

He blesses me with so many ideas, dreams, visions. But some are not to be shared at that time or maybe not at all.

So He is teaching me to listen to Him - to shut my mouth if need be- to only let out and share it if and when He releases me to.

It's all about His timing. His plan.

He has prepared the heart and He knows when the time is right.

And it's a well oiled machine when it works together well. It runs smoothly but is effective and powerful with the oil of the Holy Spirit.

Lord, set a guard at my mouth!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Bring on the Rain

2008-06-11T12:33:00.003-04:00

Oh man, we have been having bad weather here in the Midwest. Tornadoes, flooding, winds that take not only your hats, but your hair!

But in the midst of this, last Monday, we had a perfectly beautiful day. No wind, no rain, no humidity. Awesome!

And it hit me.

We want it so perfect. We want the perfect day. The perfect life. The perfect hair day.

And when we don't get it, we whine. We complain.

The word complacency has been coming up so much lately in my prayer time.

OK. If we had that perfect day, for instance, wouldn't we become lulled asleep, shrinking back from the edge of where God wants us.

As we go into these times, we need to keep on the edge with Jesus. We need to be, at once, ready for the battle.

Not playing in the pretty days.

I sound very hard, I realize, but that is what is coming over me. Go to church on Sunday's, maybe Bible Study on Wednesdays.... la, la-la, la-la.

No.

Dig in. Dig in with Jesus. Spend that time in His Presence. Keep on our faces.

And as we are on the floor, on our faces, the storms all around us, we will not be moved. We will not be shaken.

Ready for what comes. Prepared for what is coming.

Keep on the move. That's what our adversary is doing. Let's keep Satan guessing.

And the tactics?

Keep on our faces. The rains come down, and the floods come up. Lay down on the floor and let the flood of the Holy Spirit rise within and around you.

Heads Up, Look Alive!

2008-05-29T14:11:00.004-04:00

Not long ago, God blessed me with a vision.

I saw myself in a neighboring town at Ruby Tuesday's restaurant. I love this place as I have eaten there several times with family.

They have a kicken' salad bar - just huge! So in the vision, I was making my way through it, putting only a bite of what I liked onto my plate (which is not normal for me!). As I looked down at the plate, there were many spaces between the bites.

Then I sat down at a booth with my husband and others I can't identify.

I had a sense of being so totally connected to the Holy Spirit - watching, waiting, and listening as I nibbled. Ready to act at a moment's notice. Just a bite and then keeping alert.

We have become sleepy, slovenly, gluttonous.

Lazy.

We'd never make the cut for Gideon's army.

I feel that the Lord is ringing a warning bell, a gong. Loudly!

We feed on too much, too much! And then we become slow. Our wits slow down and we become constipated. Complacent. Nothing comes out (if I'm getting too graphic for you, I'm sorry, but you'll have to get over it!) on the fruitful end.

Let us heed the warning. Keep alert, especially in familiar territory.

1 Peter 5:8, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:"

Copycats

2008-05-20T13:43:00.002-04:00

Oh, the struggles of each day.

We want more, we need more (or think we do), we want more success. We want to do more for Jesus. We want to eat better, exercise more, look better. Use more of the day efficiently. Be more effective for Jesus. Read the Bible more. Find the right dress. Read the newest book on gifts of the Holy Spirit.

But in the end, if we take Romans 8:29 seriously, as we spend more time with our Saviour, we will be molded into His image.

No, he didn't have to clock in, drive in traffic, clean up the peanut butter.

I feel He lived His time here on earth to the fullest. We could still make a bunch of accusations like, he didn't even have to pay off credit cards.

His time here?

He made time for people. He made time for prayer and His Father. He was bent on teaching His disciples, but He could take time to hold a child. He drove demons into a herd of pigs (that's a battle!), but He also worked with wood. He taught in the synagogues, but He enjoyed meals with His friends and family. I forget that it wasn't all work. There had to be some play.

I just got a picture of Jesus and the disciples playing keep away with a piece of bread, and then wrestling. Yeah, they wasted the bread!

As times on this earth get tougher - darker - it's hard to remember to play. To enjoy this life.

But again Romans 8:29 reminds us to be willing to be like Jesus. To copy His life.

Today, just today, let's agree to live that way. As a bird calls out to another, lift your face to the sky, and let the sun warm your face. Stay there for a moment.

When the wind stirs the tree leaves, listen to the sound of the leaves clapping in worship.

Linger there. Tarry.

And when our Lord sweetly calls our name or rumbles in the Heavens, stop.

Linger. Raise your face to His and hear His heart.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Collision of Two Realms

2008-05-12T14:52:00.003-04:00

I just got home from walking to the Post Office, Bank, and the Court House today. Here in my home state of Nebraska, it is extremely windy. I'm not going to complain, because I want the wind of the Holy Spirit blowing me over, so why not put up with the wind in the natural!

I have been reading some crazy books like Miracle Workers, Reformers, and The New Mystics, recommended by a brother of mine. So because of this book, I am getting better at connecting the supernatural and the natural. It's on my mind more and more. My belly just burns!

I was walking into the wind, uphill! Whoah! Each step was harder and harder, but I had this goofy grin on my face because I could feel my Dear Holy Spirit in my belly, just burning! And I could feel the strong wind blowing directly into my face, almost knocking me backwards at the same time.

So we are always talking about bringing Heaven down to earth, or experiencing the Power of the Holy Spirit here on earth.

Well, as I was walking, God gave me such a revelation about something so simple.

As my belly was burning, and the wind was blowing around and against my body, the supernatural within me in the Holy Spirit, and the natural without me in the wind (and just me being the human that I am!) hit smack dab together to bring them both together.

Did Heaven invade earth? Did fires start, or people get saved just then?

No, but I just kept on pushing and listening and grinning against the wind.

We bring Heaven down to earth every time that we shift over to the spirit within our bodies. There is a bonding together. Learning to stay in the Spirit is tricky, but possible.

More and more, I challenge myself to stay in that place and hopefully someday, my spirit and body will be so melted together, that there is no shift.

But until then, I'll just walk into the Wind of the Holy Spirit in this body, grinning as the two realms collide within me.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Back to Kindergarten!

2008-05-05T12:22:00.003-04:00

As I was driving home one evening last week, I was having an epiphany. You know how you remember the time and the place thing?

I was thinking about some people in my life and how we affect each other. And to be honest with you, I was offended. (Some that know me, might say that I get that way. God and I are working on it!) The offender is a person that I am accountable to in my life, and I always think about that Scripture that says, "Do not touch My anointed ones, And do my prophets no harm." I've always thought that this verse refered to only leaders, elders, people over us in our lives.

But God is stretching me, my understanding of the Bible and my own experiences. And He did just that when I was thinking of the verse in 1 Chron. 16:22 and Ps. 105:15.

God caused me to question Him on who really are His anointed? In 1 John 2:20, it says, "But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and you know all things." A few verses above this one, John refers to "little children". That's me! I am God's child and frankly, sometimes, I deserve to be called a child!

So...I am God's anointed...and so are the people that I am accountable to, and so are all of my brothers and sisters in Christ.

If I am to not touch (or harm) God's anointed, then that means all of His kids. All of us.

It's kind of like a catch-all rule. Everybody's anointed that are born again in Christ. So don't harm or talk against or hurt any of our brothers and sisters.

Amen?!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

What's God Got Up His Sleeve?

2008-05-02T13:16:00.006-04:00

I have just started the new book Miracle Workers, Reformers, and The New Mystics by John Crowder. It is going to be a life changing book, I can already tell.

It got me to thinking. If we as believers, are really into the supernatural, according to recent reports, the ultimate anointing is for the raising of the dead.

But I believe that God wants to go higher.

I don't at this time, know what higher is.

What could be wilder than raising the dead?

But I believe that there are more incredible, amazing things that through Jesus Christ, we will be able to do.

The only thing stopping us?

Us!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Whatchagonnachoose?

2008-04-30T12:01:00.004-04:00

Wow! Nothing like letting the month of April go....south! Busy month, but being sick for around two weeks, gets a person behind!

But here I am!

God's Presence has been so sweet lately. So powerful.

I can feel other saints' praying for me. I feel them going before the Throne on my behalf. And I always want to bless them back. I pray, "God, please bless those who pray for me. Bless them back a hundred fold." (Not sure of punctuation there!) And I know that God does bless them back.

But what I have discovered is... the worship time, His Presence, the sweetness, is all tied into how I meet Him. The time that I give Him.

It is a direct result of how hungry that I am for Him.

Of how passionate I am for Him.

As the church gets busier, the Bride gets busier, Satan gets more and more intent on letting us believe that what we are doing, is all ok. "That's just the way it is."

The three Bible studies, the choir rehearsals, church bazaars are all good things, right?

But where does our dear Holy Spirit fit in. Those things are busyness, that maybe aren't really what we need to be doing. If we are so busy, and noisy, how can we learn to hear that still small voice?

I encourage us all to really check in with the Holy Spirit on what we are doing for God.

Maybe He just wants to sit on a park bench with us, and swing our legs back and forth, listening. Listening to the world, His world. Listening to His voice.

Maybe He just wants to have fun.

Whoah. But there are wars going on. There is poverty. There is (ick) a coming presidential election coming up.

And He just wants to sit on a park bench? (And swing our legs?!)

I think that He really wants us to get a hold of the fact that He really has all of those things handled, and He just wants to spend time with us.

Mary or Martha. There's time to be both.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Pushy and Persistent

2008-04-07T09:40:00.003-04:00

This morning, in my devo time, my cat, Selah, tried to climb into my lap several times. But I was reading the Bible, and I put her off, so I could read.

But she persisted. And she got her way. As I prayed I rubbed her ears, her eyes (she loves that!), her paws (yes, she lets me do that, she lets me hold her paws!)(Okay, some of you are...oh well!)

And I went to my Father, and persisted in climbing into His lap. I pushed my way in.

And He welcomed me! He enveloped me! He rejoiced in my persistence. He opened up to me, so I could climb in.

He opened up my mind, my ears, my eyes! He rubbed my heart, softening it. He took the gunk out of my eyes, so I could see.

He cleaned out my ears, so I could hear His sweet voice.

I climbed onto my Father's lap.

I pushed my way in.

I climbed into my Father's lap.

I pushed my way in.

He welcomed me with His arms wide open.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

I'm Ringin' the Dinner Bell. Come to the Table!

2008-04-01T09:27:00.004-04:00

I ask God so many times for Him to reveal answers to me. To help me understand things in His Word that I know have deeper meanings.

He is so faithful to bring me those answers!

I was struggling recently over some things in my heart, knowing God would bring me to that place where I repent and let Him do what He needs to do in me.

I rarely turn on TV early. I want my time with Jesus. But last Monday I did, and God brought me the word that I needed. I needed that teaching to be set free. I needed to find the Grace and Mercy that He so willingly has for us all.

And I realized that this is what Psalms 23:5 is all about. "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies." I have always wondered what this really means. What does that look like? Does He get out the best silverware, the best tablecloth? (I just saw Him lifting a tablecloth up, all unfolded, in the air, getting ready to let it fall onto the table! I could blog on that!)

In the presence of my enemies of wrong attitudes, unrest, unforgiveness, sin, he feeds me the Word that I need at that time, to teach me, reprove me, (bust me!) and to set me free from those enemies.

It's just the right thing to feed me. It's at the right time. (5:30 am! But the right time!) And it is in front of the right enemies.

God is so faithful. Did I say that before?

God is so faithful!

God, please never quit teaching us and reproving us. Setting the table for Your Bride of Christ.

The more that I write, the more that I understand. The more that I seek Him, the more that I find Him.

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

What a Waste

2008-03-31T14:07:00.003-04:00

I just finished reading a book called, "Akiane". It is about a 10 year old girl (in 2006 at the time of publishing) that has extraordinary gifts in art and writing. Her paintings are of a Master's quality, and her poetry is well advanced for her age.

This book, but also this girl, started me to thinking.

She had, at a young age, developed time with God. In fact, her parents were then atheists, and this was very strange to them.(You've gotta read the book!)

What I started thinking about was, I want to have what she has. Not only accomplishing great things in the arts, but her intimacy with God. About her being so pure.

She saw the Lord as He was. As He chose to reveal Himself to her.

Not as I probably do, with 56 years of experiences, opinions, and input.

She had a purity of heart and mind at the age of four when she met God. So she didn't add her embellishments or her thoughts. She just accepted Him as He appeared.

Like back to when Adam and Eve were first created in the Garden of Eden, before the Fall. They didn't have any experience with anything! No church that they had been attending. No baggage to drag into the relationship. They hadn't lived before! That is an odd thing to grasp!

No opinions!

When I think about all of my opinions, right or wrong, compared to them....

They didn't even have an Aunt Martha to inflict her opinions on them.

No, they were new creatures. Never having existed before.

No, they were literally new creations in Christ (John 1:3)

No, I mean literally. Brand spankin' new!

And that must be how Akiane must be, or was back when she was 4.

Every idea, every vision, was startling and fresh. And there was nothing that she couldn't do. Because no one had told her any different. God had told her that she could.

I want to do that. To have that. To be that.

And we can, if we believe the Word of God.

I believe that we have allowed ourselves to be so dumbed down by Satan, that we listen to his lies. And we forget who our Daddy is.

The Lord of Lords and the King of Kings. The Creator of all things.

Akiane spends the first part of each day, seeking God and sharing the intimacy that He wants with us.

I do that.

But I am going to take that one step further.

The ideas that He has given me? (And He has....)

I am going to act on them. Draw them. Use them. Write them. Just as I am now.

Not waste them and whine about how I never get to do what I was made to do!

Copyright©Bonnie Lacy

Mirror Reflections Through My Own Eyes

2008-03-21T12:17:00.003-04:00

Okay, this is going to sound weird.

I was getting myself ready for the day. You know, looking into the mirror, doing my hair. Putting on the makeup.

I kept seeing my reflection and sometimes, in the way that I moved, it reminded me of my mom.

Now, most of us, at that point, go "eeooww!".

Even when we have had a great relationship with our moms, we're not too sure that we want to become them! Or look like them.

But God gave me a different picture this morning. Because, yes, I started to go, "Oh, no, I look like my mom!".

But my mom is with the Lord now. She died over three years ago.

And you know, it might be nice to see Mom again, in my mirror reflections.

That's a whole different paradigm. It's kind of startling, but I'll get used to it!

And you know who else I see when I look into the mirror?

Since Jesus is my Lord and Savior, I see His eyes looking back at me through mine!

And guess who His Dad is! We have the same Dad!

So while you are there at your mirror, let Him tell you that He loves you. Let Him tell you how glad He is that you are His kid.

Because we are His kids, (you've heard this before, I'm sure, but it's so cool!)I have my Father's eyes!

And because I am my mom's kid, I have my mom's ornery glint in those eyes!

©BL2008

I'm an Imposter

2008-03-14T07:34:00.003-05:00

I seem to be so bound.

I stay stuck in the old habits.

What's up with that, when I have a Savior who took care of all that?

So what's the problem?

Me?

I'm looking with these big wide eyes. And looking around me. Like, you mean... me? Finger pointing at my chest?

Me?

I think that the worst sin is not taking a hold of who and what Jesus died for us to be.

Yes, we are conquerors. Yes, we are kids of God. If we have repented, and asked Jesus to be our Lord and Savior, we have that.

But more than that.

I am called to be a writer, a creator. I make pottery. I create jewelry. I see things in a really funky way.

But do I make the time? So how does that make Father feel? Jesus feel? He died so I could be what He made me to be. And I am not doing or being it.

How disappointed He must be in me.

I'm good at being the conqueror. Telling demons to flee. I can do that.

For others.

But can I do that for me?

Those demons of fear of failure. Demons of I'm not worthy. Demons of what if I succeed. Demons of what will others think - bad, or good. Demons of let's just be normal. Demons of mediocrity. Demons of wasting time. (Oh yeah, I play Spider Solitaire before I write - I tell myself that it gets me in the mode. Ha! I'm procrastinating so I don't have to fail. That hurt.)

What did God put into your heart to be? What did you obsess about when you were little? Really. Me too!

That is who we were made to be.

That is what Jesus takes pleasure in, when we do or be it. He glows when we take up the pen. He holds His breath when we grab that clay. He jumps up and down when we tie up those shoelaces to run like the wind. He gets tears in His eyes when we pick up that child to tickle and snuggle.

Oh so sweet. To take up that cross that He died on. It wasn't just to enable us to crucify our flesh (Yeah. Me, too.) It was to take up that cross and be who He freed us to be!

So, I don't know about you, but....I'm getting out my pencils. I'm putting on my apron to cook. I'm cutting my fingernails so I don't pierce the pot of clay. I'm leaning over to tie my running shoes. I'm....you get the picture!

So free....So free!

Giggles from my Jesus.

©BL2008

I'm Outa Control

2008-03-01T15:56:00.003-05:00

How much time do you have?

Because I have a lot to write!

Make a cuppa and join me.

Monday, I was going to go pick up my daughter and go to another town to do errands and have some time together. As I drove out of my town, it was snowing terribly and I stopped and called my daughter. She assured me that it was doing nothing there, so I continued.

Have you ever wish you could have hit replay and done it differently?

We got to our destination, did our things, and headed back home. There were some icy patches here and there so I was going fairly slow. But I noticed up ahead that the road was pretty icy, so I slowed down even more. No brakes, just let up a bit.

Well we hit a place, and were on ice skates. Swerving back and forth, left and right. And then around and around. I remember scanning the road as we came around. No traffic. And as we slid around again, I was able to check the other way, and no traffic.

And I remember having a visual of my hands both on the steering wheel just trying to drive. Then crash! We had backed into the ditch and hit a tree.

That stopped us!

I got out and assessed the damage. My rear gate, bumper, and light were bashed and glass was everywhere. But we were both alright.

All I could say as we skimmed around in circles? "Jesus, Jesus."

Now I have been known to let a few words fly that weren't shall we say very polite?

But this time I called on my Lord, the Savior of my life.

Now I know that the obvious lesson is listen to the Holy Spirit. Or some might say, "listen to your gut!". And yes that is a huge lesson. Like in maybe I should have stayed home.

But as I think about the accident now, all I can see are my hands on the steering wheel and a spinning world through the windshield.

When we think we have it all under control, we are really spinning. Out of control. The only One in control is Jesus. He's got it all together. Not me.

We are so grateful that we are okay (yes, there are aches) and that there was minimal damage (yes, there are repairs and a financial hit), but we are fine.

I think that God is using this to prepare me for the future somehow. For when things spin out of control, He is in control.

Tough lesson.

I'm outa control.

©/BL2008

Cease and Desist

2008-02-25T09:46:00.004-05:00

Have you ever had someone who wronged you? Trashed you? Even harmed you?

I see the hands up, and mine is up too.

I am a member of the Bagdad Prayer Patrol. A dear sister put me onto it. They send daily updates and prayers to pray over the people - all of the people - in Bagdad. Good and evil.

Well the one today was based on Ps. 37:7-9. "Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him; fret not yourself because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger and forsake wrath; fret not yourself - it tends only to evildoing." (Amplified)

Now I know that there are some very serious offenses that take place on this earth. Maybe I should say that I really have no idea how hurtful some have been. I only know what I have been through.

But nevertheless, it's all painful, in many degrees.

But this Scripture hit me today. It was to pray for the evil going on in Bagdad, but little did the writer know that I needed to read those verses for myself.

God tells us to first of all rest.

Rest? When I want to rant and rave?

Yes, even lean upon Him.

But to not fret about those who seem to get ahead (and get away with) by doing wrong.

Whether it is doing physical harm to a person? Or stealing from them. Or saying cruel things.

We are to stop being angry about it and run away from wrath. I think wrath should be described as I'm-going-to-kill-you angry. Where you could kill in order to get back. (I'm not writing from jail. I am your normal? American woman with a regular life. But as we've seen from the news, it doesn't take just a terrorist to react in anger and do devastation.)

I'm not just talking about war, where there are real bullets.

I'm talking about when your mother-in-law says to a young friend, as you open the garage door, "Oh, just look at this mess." The young friend even knows better than to say those things to a person, even if it is true. Oooooo.

I'm talking about when your child says harsh things to you in their anger and frustration. Tears.

When a business partner does indescribable things to you and your family. Pain.

Anger.

Kill.

Maim.

But no.

My staying in anger, only tends to evildoing.

Yes, MY anger. Yeah, the other person should maybe be jailed, but we're talking about our own anger here.

So I am being transparent in front of you all. The issue isn't about what was done to us, but what we do with what was done to us.

It's to the cross daily. Dying to ourselves.

Leaning on Him.

Fretting not.

Ceasing.

And being still in Him.

©BL2008

Gone Fishin'

2008-02-15T10:12:00.003-05:00

I am reading through the Gospels. I want to really learn what Jesus did and will do and what I can do, only greater (John 14:12).

Matthew 17:24-27 is interesting. Apparently when they got into Capernaum, the tax collectors asked Peter if Jesus had paid his temple tax. Or they asked him if Jesus paid the half shekel, kind of checking how much Jesus paid. Now I really want to dig in and learn about the background, the culture. I always do that, and then this gets too long! So I won't here and now. At a later date!

Peter came home and he and Jesus talked about it. Jesus told Peter that he should go to the sea and throw in a hook. He was to take the first fish that came up, and when he would open it's mouth, there would be a shekel in it. Peter was to take that shekel and go pay the temple tax for both Jesus and Peter.

So the thoughts that went around in my head? It could have happened a couple of ways.

One way? As Peter is finding his way to the sea, I see him climbing over rocks to get to the beach area, mumbling. "Catch a fish? To pay the taxes?" This is where I'd be!

But had Peter seen so many miracles, so many supernatural things, that he just said, "Yeah, okay. I'll get us a mocha on the way. Be right back!"

Or was he talking to himself on the way? "Crazy. This is crazy! How does a fish have a shekel in it? And how does Jesus know it's the first fish? Crazy!"

Or did he believe, but have to talk to himself all the way there. "I believe Jesus. He is the Truth!" Fighting the unbelief all of the way.

Does this ever come up again? I'm going to find out! There is nothing following this part that says, "Yup! Peter found the fish with the shekel in it's mouth and he went and paid the tax. And Jesus liked the mocha!"

And since it's tax time here in the United States, my brain goes....can that happen today? And how?

Some would explain that things like this just happen symbolically. But.... I don't think so. (I'm sticking my neck out here!) I don't think that I believe that.

Yes, there are wonderful applications of this, but I think we are keeping our Maker and Provider in that box again.

Let's knock down the walls of that box and let Jesus be who He is! Not what we think he is! Or what we are comfortable with.

Let's let Him come how He wants to. Let's let Him look like He is!

And if He wants me to go fishing to get my tax money, I'm down!

Oh,and if you can't find me? I'm at the store buying my hook!

©BL2008

The Streets of......Gold?

2008-02-14T10:26:00.003-05:00

Last week as I was soaking with God on the floor, I saw what I knew to be the end of some movie. It was a shot of a city at night. Cars were moving along on a huge freeway. The camera was moving out for a wide shot.

And the feeling was of all people, being where they needed to be - physically, spiritually. Like all is resolved.

And as I journaled this, it was almost about being back to the Garden of Eden, but in this world. Cars moving, lights beautiful.

Was it a picture of eternal life?

I think that we think of the afterlife as a..... I mean the streets of gold for pete's sake! But I wonder if it will be exactly as it is now, only with out the sin, or the ravages of sin.

If you think technology is wild now, just wait. Think of all of the inventions, innovations! The imaginations without sin! The creativity! The arts! The music?

All without sin!

Incredible.

©BL2008

Cut the Flesh

2008-02-09T08:13:00.001-05:00

I'm back! I sound like the ghost or monster on a movie. "I'm ba-ack!"

Been gone with hubby. Good stuff.

I just had a realization. I have been praying for a revelation of the Cross. I didn't even know what I meant by praying that. I just felt led by dear Holy Spirit to pray that. I wanted to know where He wanted me to go.

But just now as I journaled, He gave me that revelation. I didn't hear ten thousand angels sing. There was no lightning. But I know a little more than I did before. And it is really simple, but those simple teachings are the best.

Every time that I have hurt feelings, I want to stay in that. Wallow in it. In the sludge. But every time that I submit it to the Holy Spirit, I crucify that flesh.

Every time I want to react in anger, I want to keep it. Carry the anger. Make it mine. But Holy Spirit wants me to submit it to Him.

Every time that I feel left out, snubbed, forgotten, I need to get under His Wings.

Submit, submit, submit. Crucify, crucify.

Go to the Cross.

When I submit, when I crunch that flesh, I am going to the cross to die to myself.

"I die daily." 1 Cor. 15:31.

That is death to self. Crucify the flesh.

Go to the Cross.

©BL2008

Coffee Filters and God's Word

2007-12-27T11:03:00.000-05:00

Oh, those nasty thoughts. They float in, and out, and trash my mind, my day.

They cause me to go on and on, about a person, or a situation, until I am angry. Until I'd like to wring someone's neck.

Or worse.

So I have been praying 2 Corinthians 10:3-5. Especially verse 5. "casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,".

And God blessed me with a visual of the last part. That every thought has to go through Him as we speak that verse out. Every thought has to be approved by Him.

So you coffee addicts - here is the visual.

I saw a giant coffee filter that our thoughts are taken through. The filter holds all of the trash, from us, and from satan.

And out comes this Truth. Good stuff. Words and thoughts that are pure, strong, rich, and hot.

Just like the coffee so many of us crave.

Rich and True.

Through God's coffee filter of His Word.

©BL2007

It's Curtain Time!

2007-12-15T10:24:00.000-05:00

On a morning a while back, my cat, Selah, woke me at 5:30am! I am a morning person, but I love my sleep, so I can be hard to wake up that early. She persisted in getting herself thrown out of the bedroom!

But I didn't go back to sleep. I think that God uses her to get me up, because he has something for me. Okay, I need to thank my cat for the waking, and not complain! Complaining is not good in God's Book! (See Num 12:1-3, 10-15, 1 Cor 10:10-11, and Phil. 2:14-15. Ouch!)

God blessed me with some visions of a different vein, but I got out of bed, then, and turned on my new soaking CD. Todd Bentley's Marianating. I had listened to a bit, since a sister blessed me with it, but not just laid on the floor, soaking in every note and every word. So that's what I did. Laid on the floor under my favorite afgan, and just let God.

With my eyes closed and feasting, God opened up the Heavens, and I saw a huge, I mean huge, curtain, going straight up from my body. It was a shimmery gold. I saw the top, but was very aware of the fact of how far it really went up. And then it dropped on me!

And a little later, (I'm not really sure how long), I saw myself sit upright. As I sat up, the curtain fell away onto my lap, and I looked around. But the picture of me that I got was like on a work of art that I am blessed to have. It is entitled "Born Again", created by Dean Kermit Allison. It is a little statue depicting the born-again experience talked about in 2 Cor. 5:17. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" It is a statue of a person, standing on some rocks, but leaning back, crying out. The upper body is clear like glass, but at the waist area, there is a peeling away of black, and the black goes on down the rest of the body/legs. And believe me I can feel the pain from the statue.

That is what I saw sitting up from under the veil. Me, but God knew I would know what it meant when He used the picture of the statue. And I heard the Holy Spirit say that "that was my spirit"!

Now some of you reading this will know about the veil. I knew a little about it too, but I learned more, as I dug into my concordance, two versions of the Bible, and other references! Fun!

Most of us know that the veil talked about in most of the Gospels is the actual curtain in the temple that was torn in two from top to bottom. (Matt. 27:51, Lk. 23:45)

But as I looked farther, I hit Heb. 6:19,20. The Message Bible can be so cool. "We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It's an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us, in the order of Melchizedek."

The Amplified Bible reads "...that reaches farther and enters into [the very certainty of the Presence] within the veil,"

About half way through the above study, I stopped and said to God, "You dropped it on me, Lord!"

After looking up Heb. 9:3, "But [inside] beyond the second curtain or veil, [there stood another] tabernacle known as the Holy of Holies." And I heard Jesus say, "That's where you've been!"

And one last verse. Heb. 10:20. In the Life in the Spirit Bible (NKJV) it says, "By a new and living way, which he has consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, his flesh;"

His flesh. His presence. His Holy Presence.

If we are willing, if we want it. No. If we need it, have to have it, He just wants to drop His Presence on us. To cover us with His Presence.

It's time to spend time with the Author of the Book. This is a curtain call!

©BL2008

Grandkids, cats, and tails

2007-12-07T21:15:00.000-05:00

I have to share what happened when my grandsons were home for Thanksgiving.

They are so cute! 4 years old and 2 years old.

The two year old was sitting with me in a chair as we watched a movie with the family. My cat, who they love, and are really good with, was sitting in my lap.

My little grand, reached over and took hold of the end of the cat's tail and just held it.

Two things. One, the cat let him do that. And, two, it was like he was holding the cat, too. Like maybe the cat wouldn't put up with him holding her himself, but maybe just the tail.

Just thought it was cute.

I'm the grandma.

It was cute.

©BL2007

Pushin' my way around!

2007-12-07T20:18:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about the woman in the Bible, Mark 5, that had the issue of blood.

It says that there was a huge crowd, pressing Jesus from all sides, so as to almost suffocate Him.

And the woman found herself right next to Him? I wonder if she had to push and shove. Maybe she had to be forceful, pushy, rude.

And she had faith. "If only I touch His garments, I will be restored to health." That's so cool. I mean, she had been having this issue for what, 12 years? Hello, I think we all should have been pushy.

My imagination goes nuts sometimes, but since there were throngs of people around Jesus, do you think that maybe there was more than this one woman with a problem, or need of healing? Like maybe several.

Where were they? Didn't they want a healing just as much? But they didn't push and shove, and scrap to get it.

For every one person that actually asks, are there maybe 5, or 10, that need/want a healing, but don't ask?

Or even in our prayer time, do we ask for others, everything, but never anything for ourselves?

God is teaching me to ask. "Ask and you shall receive." I take my Father at His Word. If I ask, I will receive.

So, I'm going to become scrappy. I'm pushing toward the front. I'm going to crawl over to Him. I'm going to elbow my way over. I'm going to grab the hem of His garment, and ask.

I'm going to hold Him to the answer. His Word is our Promise. I'm going to hold Him to it!

©BL2007

Angels and Transformers

2007-11-30T12:10:00.000-05:00

Wow, it feels like months since I have posted. (Maybe it has been!)

Hope that you all were blessed on Thanksgiving and in your family time. We assume so much don't we - that everybody had a "normal" Thanksgiving with all family. Those of you that had tough times, I pray God's Grace on you and in the situations.

When I was at my kids' house not too long ago, I watched the movie "Transformers" a lot. A lot!

And when I got back home and got into my devo time again, I was soaking in Ps. 23. It wasn't one of those times where, "Yeah, I've heard this all before." Or, "I know this all by heart."

I had been thinking about angels and all that they do, much of it, I am not even aware of. But I want to be aware. Not to worship them, but to be so aware of the supernatural that I am living in it.

Well, in Ps. 23, as I really got into it, it was like I was in it. Does that make sense? I know it will to some reading this.

And I got a picture out of the movie "Transformers" when the Autobots were waiting outside of the kid's house - waiting for him to find his grandfather's glasses. (Ya gotta see the movie!)

I saw the same thing in my home, only they weren't the Transformers, they were huge angels kneeling and moving around inside and outside of my house.

I mean HUGE! As big as the Autobots!

The supernatural is that close. And we make those angels to be our size, or the size of the cute little baby angels that we see on cards, or on knick knacks. But these were huge.

I felt such power, but such gentleness, and respect. Not that I am anything great (I am in Christ!), but that's just the way they were.

This is battle. And we are in it. We need to engage with the supernatural and realize that it is at our disposal, to use in the battle. We need to walk in it, because it is already ours if Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior.

Autobots, on! Angels, on! Saints, on!

©BL2007

Not home

2007-11-15T10:42:00.000-05:00

I am needing to apologize to anyone that reads this blog.

Due to family issues, I have been gone way too much.

But tomorrow, these things shall pass. No, I'm not killing a kid, or quitting life!

There is just a release to some extra work that has been going on since July 4th!

To all who read this, I want to ask God for Blessings on your Thanksgiving holidays - with family, friends, Jesus!

I'll write more next week! Yes it's Thanksgiving, but even cooking and cleaning for 13 or so people, is easier than repairing my mom's farmhouse!

Love to all!

©BL2007

Hard Hats and Crowns

2007-10-15T13:17:00.000-04:00

Recently, as I have talked with several people, stuff has come up. You know....like stuff.

Like sin.

That word that we don't want to talk about.

Also, I have been reading a book by Craig Groeschel, entitled "Confessions of a Pastor". He gets it all out there.

And that started my brain to cooking.

I was thinking about how we tend to brush stuff under the rug of our hearts, so to speak.

Get a picture. Say we stole a piece of candy at age 6, and by the time we are 30, we are stealing from the office, or from our parents. Ouch.

Or maybe we were shown a nude picture when we were 8, and by the time we are 30 or so, (that age is sticking!) we are into full-blown porn.

Or try this one. What if when we were three, we were made fun of so badly, that from then on we grew to hate ourselves. So that by the time we were adults, we hated ourselves so badly, that we covered up with make-up. Had to have our hair just perfect. Don't want to look bad. As bad as we feel on the inside about ourselves.

So by the time we are adults, we have swept so much under there, that the rug is covering the mountain in the middle of our living room. Like in the movie "Close Encounters of the Third Kind", where he builds a mountain in the family room.

And along with the dirt, are old pictures. Documents of lies. Daggers aimed at ourselves. Rusted dreams.

And if we allow someone to peek under the rug, they lay it down real fast. It stinks under there. Oooo, compost.

But what if. What if we allowed our Jesus to lift up a corner. And bring His broom and dustpan. Or really get down, with His backhoe loader, and articulated dump truck. Or His waste handler dozer! (Check out the John Deere site - I love it!)

Jesus is sitting in the operator's seat with His hard hat on, moving all of the levers. Picking up a load and moving it to the dump truck. And back for more.

Soon that mountain in the room of our hearts is getting smaller and smaller as we let Him move more out. As we submit to His cleansing. It's not fun. It hurts.

But.

As He gets us closer and closer to where He wants us to be, He gets more and more tender with us. He whispers into our heart and washes us clean.

Gentleness.

Wholeness.

Soon there will be nothing under the rug, but our hearts.

Then He takes the hard hat off, and exchanges it for the crown that He is best known for. The King of Glory meets His Bride.

©BL2007

The Cat and Me

2007-10-01T11:29:00.001-04:00

I write about what is around me. And right now, it's my cat. I have written about her before, but this is a different take. She found an old pearl, but not pearl, necklace this morning. She kind of gave me a look, like, "look what I found"! And, "you just gave me string and old toys to play with, but I found a beautiful necklace"! (I know, I can get alot out of her expression!)

She ran with the necklace. She tossed it. She hid it under an afgan. She slept with it.

And as I watched her play with it, I delighted in her cat-ness. How she took it and hid it under the afgan, and pretended that she didn't know where it was, and found it again. She's a hoot.

And I felt Father looking over my shoulder, and reminding me that He delights in me when I am myself, too. When I really tap into the gifts that He put in me, He is delighted.

Even when He is correcting me, which seems to be happening alot lately! Prov. 3:12, "For whom the Lord loves he corrects; just as a father the son in whom he delights."

He delights in me.

So I am going to do my best today, to be and do what He put into me, to be and do!

I'll write! There are other things I could be doing, yes. But when I get writing done each day, I feel satisfied. Because I am being me.

©BL2007

Feeling Blue Answers

2007-09-25T21:48:00.000-04:00

I got a fast email from a sister in Christ. She sent the information in answer to my question about "feeling blue".

She and I share children. Her son is married to my daughter!

Thank you, thank you!

Here is what it said.

"If you are sad and describe yourself as "feeling blue," you are using a phrase coined from a custom among many old deepwater sailing ships. If the ship lost the captain or any of the officers during its voyage, she would fly blue flags and have a blue band painted along her entire hull when returning to home port."

It is from a Navy term site. Interesting!

Feeling blue

2007-09-25T16:59:00.000-04:00

My son left today for another step in his life. He has been down some roads that a mom would not wish, but God is definitely using them for His Glory now.

But I am feeling blue. I am staying busy, and inspired, but blue.

I started thinking about where on earth did 'feeling blue' come from.

Not feeling purple. Not feeling green. (Green with envy! Is that another blog?!)

Okay, I am putting out a plea. I have looked online for awhile and haven't come up with any folklore, or why we say we are blue, when depressed or down-in-the dumps. (Okay, there is another metaphor! Where does it come from?!)

Really. Where does it come from? When we lack oxygen, we turn blue. Is that a clue?

Readers, if you are out there, let me know what you find!

Washers, and Dryers, and Unbelief

2007-09-25T16:03:00.000-04:00

I was sitting this morning by the window where I spend my first moments (sometimes hours - those of you with a calling to sit at the feet of the Father will understand!) of the day. I saw a pickup truck filled with old appliances, washers, dryers, etc., drive by.

It made me think of the used washer and dryer that my husband got from his mom this last month, during her move. He said that they are for the building that we will build for our business. I chuckled. No, I laughed in annoyance. Yeah, right. We store them in our garage, for how long, until we finally get rid of them? Because like, there's never going to be a building. Huh.

Okay, next on the bunny trail, is to Genesis 18:1. Where Araham had God appear to him with maybe two angels. Abraham, with Sarah's help, showed them hospitality. He showed them where to freshen up, and then they shared a meal. It wasn't just cheese and crackers, but it was the bomb burrito of a fatted calf. (How do you dress and prepare a fatted calf, a whole cow, and get it done in time for dinner?)

As they were eating, they asked about Sarah, and where she was.

Abraham said that she was in the tent. Meanwhile, God told Abraham that the next time that He came around, Sarah would have a son.

Sarah was actually listening in on the conversation behind the tent door. And she laughed. She laughed, not in faith and excitement and wonder, like Abraham did in Genesis 17:17.

No, Sarah laughed in contempt. Scoffing. Yeah, right, I'll have a son. She was well beyond child bearing years.

Abraham laughed in faith and wonder. Sarah laughed in unbelief.

My husband spoke in faith. I answered in unbelief.

Okay, so now I am making a sign for the washer and dryer that says, "For the new building". In faith. In repentance!

©BL2007

Words and Sludge

2007-09-18T14:54:00.000-04:00

I was in a service Sunday, at my regular church. We are pretty free at our church, where if a person receives a 'word' from the Lord, they are free, at the proper time to give it. And it happens every Sunday there. It is such a blessing, as when the pastor finally gets up to preach, he just laughs because the words given beforehand are just what God had given him to preach on. So fun!

And a few days ago, I was talking with someone about giving words of what we feel we hear from God for others. And we had a warning about giving and receiving words from people. We need to operate in God's Wisdom.

And then I get this goofy picture of someone spoonfeeding someone else. A bite at a time.

If it is a true Word from the Lord, as it is tasted, it is sweet. "I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste." Song of Solomon 2:3b.

And "Oh taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in Him." Ps 34:8.

But what if that word is not from the Lord? What if it is of the flesh? Well intended, but flesh.

I may have written about this before, but it applies here also. I have a mom-in-law that is precious. I love her. She is born-again. But because of things that happened to her in her childhood, she sometimes says very hurtful things, and they seem to be aimed at me or my daughter.

It got so bad that when we would be planning to go see her, I would go through turmoil, because it had started to cause me to dread going to see her. Yeah, I know. Dread is of fear. Okay, I was afraid to see her, for fear of what she would say to me.

It came to a head one day when I was crying out to God. I knew in my heart of hearts, that I could be victorious over this situation, short of putting silver duct tape over her mouth!

God gave me a vision, of me sitting at a table, across from her. She was dipping a huge spoon into a bowl of really nasty stuff. Sludge. And feeding it to me. I was actually watching her do this and willingly opening my mouth to take the bite. I was taking it in.

God told me that I don't have to take it in. I am not required to open my mouth, or even sit at the table with her, clamping my lips closed, getting it all over my mouth.

I don't have to take it in.

But what if it is a good word? A word sent by the Lord to encourage me, to lift me up?

So the picture? Me sitting at a table, across from Jesus. It may be just a picnic table. Wooden, rough. He is dressed in His best warrior's uniform. Beautiful. He looks into my eyes, and picks up the spoon. It's a vintage spoon, old but solid. He dips it into the bowl in front of Him and gives me a bite.

Sweet and good. Goes down like Mom's best pumpkin pie. (Thanksgiving is coming!) Mmmm.....And it does the work that He sent it to do. Even if the word is convicting and correcting. It still goes down well.

Good for me and nourishing my soul.

So my lesson? Do my best to hear from the Holy Spirit. Do my best to develop that intimacy, so that I really hear His voice. Let Him teach me to hear Him.

And don't take bites from strangers!

©BL2007

Who's counting?

2007-09-10T12:37:00.000-04:00

The other day I told Father that I was tired of having to go to Him and cry out for Him to repair my broken heart. Why can't I just not get it broken? Why do people always have to hurt me? Why can't I get a grip on getting offended?

James 1:19 blasted me. In the Amplified it reads, "Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry."

I am quick to take offense. I easily get angry. I easily ask 'how many times do I have to do this?'

And the answer? It's about forgiveness. If I don't get offended, I don't need to forgive. Right?

God is working a great work within me. About not getting offended, and not dragging it to the anger degree.

But how many times? How long do I have to do this?

Jesus says in Matt. 18:22, "I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven!"

I guess when my heart is right. That's how many times.

©BL2007

Cross the Line

2007-08-27T10:30:00.000-04:00

I went out to a little room off of our garage the other day to feed our cat. She is an old cat and has been pushed out there to live, because she bites me. Oh, I know. Cats give love bites.

Believe me, she has no love in her heart when she decides to bite me. She has revenge on her heart and she is going to eat meat that day. And the meat is me! Have I said all this before?

Anyway, as I went to feed her, it hit me that she hardly gets out of that room. We open the back door for her to go in and out during the day, but she hardly goes out. Or she might venture out for a while, but then is back in. With all of the huge backyard and sunlight, and fresh air out there.

She stays in that dusty, musty, room letting a fan cool her. When she could have the real thing in God's fresh air.

And I thought how much we are like that. We put ourselves into a box, out of fear, pain, revenge, and never want to venture out into what God has for us.

As our cat needs to cross that threshold, to get to the world that God made her for, we have to cross those lines of fear, regret, past experiences. "But God, the last time I tried to do that, I got hurt."

We have to be willing to step through those hard memories, and as we step through them, we will be free of them. Those spirits of fear, anxiety, dread, will never have a hold on us again. They will never ruin a relationship again, unless we let it. They will never keep us from exploding into what God planned for us.

Just cross the line.

©BL2007

Take back the land.

2007-08-14T15:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I was having my time with the Lord, and found myself wanting to confront some things in myself with Him. Cleaning house in other words. I start most days with Him and cleaning, because when I get into "Please, this and would You that" I guess I just want to start off each day with Him, with a clean slate.

Anyway, I was thinking about Satan. How he comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He is serious about what he wants to do in each life, don't get me wrong. Dead serious.

But I think that we give him way too much credit for stuff. He can only be in one place at a time. God is omnipresent. He can be everywhere at the same time. I know, I don't get it either, but I believe it. Satan is not omnipresent. So if Satan is in Irag, he can't be in Colorado bothering you, himself.

Satan isn't omniscient. He doesn't know everything. It only feels like it. Only God knows everything.

And Satan isn't omnipotent. Only God has unlimited power.

So, how does Satan do what he does? I was asking God this, when I got a picture of the movie "The Wizard of Oz". You know at the end of the movie, where Dorothy and all are before the big head of Oz and he is thundering out his demands. While little Toto, the dog goes and pulls back a curtain revealing who was really behind the Oz.

So is Satan really in a small room, frantically pulling levers, pushing buttons on some machine to control his demons and his people? Pull that lever and out comes some fire. Push that button and zoom, a demon fires a thought.

Probably not, but I don't think he is what we think he is. He wants us to think he is huge and mean. But always remember who he has to answer to. God. Satan was only an angel, he isn't anywhere near the level of God, although he wanted to be.

Yes, we are living in Satan's playground. He owns the real estate. He even tried to tempt Jesus with it, if only Jesus would bow down to him.

Satan has demons, some of who are not chained in hell, to help him. Since he can't be everywhere at the same time, those demons must do the dirty work. They tell us lies, they try to confuse us, they use our words against us, and keep us diseased. I'm convinced that the battlefield is in the mind. (Like Joyce Meyer's book says.)

But. There it is Pastor. The but. But God sent a way. Jesus. Jesus came and lived on this earth to teach us how to live, and to take back what the devil has stolen.

And once we ask Jesus to be our Lord, and are walking with him, we have the dominion back. We don't have to listen to the lies, we don't have to be confused or sick.

The promise? One is James 4:7. "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

Don't put any little buts on this. "But, Satan tells me this. But he makes me feel like a loser....." Submit yourself and all to God, resist the devil. How? How do you resist all of those credit card apps. Rip them up and throw them away! Resist.

And he will flee from you. Don't add anything, or take anything away from that verse. It stands alone.

He will flee. Take back the land.

©BL2007

Hide and Seek

2007-08-11T20:13:00.000-04:00

Holy Moly.

I just got done playing with my kitten. We were playing hide and seek. Honestly.

She'd run and hide, and as I'd walk by, she'd jump out at me. And then I'd run and hide (honestly!) and as she'd show up, I'd jump out at her. And she'd jump up in the air, pretending to be scared! Hilarious!

I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard.

Right now anyone reading this is going, "Umm... should we call someone and intervene?".

Well, we all know how good laughter is for us and have all heard how many times a day a kid laughs, right?

Does anyone remember how good it feels on the inside to just play? To really laugh for the sheer joy of it?

Do you remember how it feels to have fun?

I know, life is really hard sometimes, but I wonder what the Father was doing while my kitten and I were playing hide and seek. Do you think He was standing there, watching, and tapping His foot and looking at His watch? Do you think He was looking on with anger, saying, "Get back to work!"?

Naw, I think He was positively delighted! Remember, He's the one that made cats.

©BL2007

2007-08-08T11:53:00.000-04:00

This morning I was watching my kitten. She never strays from being herself. She jumps. She runs. She plays....cat and mouse. What else can I call it. She meows. She responds by submission when I growl at her in a cat way. (Yup, I growl at her. It's a technique that my daughter taught me! When she is doing something that I don't like, I growl and keep it up until she submits by bowing her head, closing her eyes, or backing away - it works! Just a little cat tidbit!)

But she doesn't try to act like me. That would be funny. She stays in her cat mode. Because she is a cat!

I find myself sometimes during different seasons in my life, trying to be what I'm not. Whether it's a diva, a model (Ha!), a bookkeeper (those that know me can laugh, but that's what I find myself doing these days, for our business), a grocery store clerk, a sales rep, or whatever.

But what makes my heart sing? It's when I actually sit down and write. And write something that speaks of God's heart and mine.

It's when I do what God made me to do. Sing. Create. Love.

It's the song of my heart. It's what God thought of when He fashioned me before I was born.

I'm more at peace and happiest when I follow God's heart for mine.

©BL2007

Instructions on using Keys

2007-08-06T14:19:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, when I was at church, a church elder preached. Pastor was gone on vaca, so this elder put in the time.

He preached on prayer. Actually, "Why Pray?"

First of all, we are so blessed to have people to fill in so our pastor can go away with his family.

But most of all, we are so blessed to have more than one man that loves God's Word enough to study up. To fill us up.

He and I were talking afterward about his message, and I was overcome at God's plan. God gave Adam and Eve dominion over this earth, but they didn't even get the chance to enjoy it. They gave dominion over to Satan when they agreed with him that they would not die if they ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They also agreed with Satan that they would be as gods, knowing or deciding for themselves what is good and what is evil. So they took that bite and in that bite, all of heaven and earth moved. The whole earth and all it held; the future and the past came crashing together in a spiritual and moral death, in that one bite. The physical death would come later. The whole earth, and everything in it, was now under Satan's rule.

But that isn't the end of the story. God so loved this world and all it held. He had lovingly created everything in it. Taken time to design the plants each with beauty, usefulness, (well, there is that one weed....), each animal with such detail and thoughtfulness. But when he designed man and woman, He surpassed anything ever made.

God loved us so much, man and woman, the whole earth, that He gave His own Son to die a horrible death, so that we would not perish.

Jesus came to set us free from the bondage of Satan. He literally took the keys of the Kingdom, that Satan had taken from Adam and Eve, back. He took them back.

And what do we do with the keys? We have them in hand if we are born again. (See John 3:3 - if you still have questions, email me!)

For more than 20 years, I walked around, just carrying the keys. Oh, I'd put them on a key chain that had a WWJD line on it. Or I'd safely tuck them away in the pocket of my purse. They had a special hook by the door that I would hang them from.

But did I use them to unlock and set the captives free? (Is. 61:1-4) No.

Did I use them to preach and teach the Good Tidings? Or to open those bound in their prisons?

No, I just walked around with them. "Aren't these pretty?" I'd ask. "Don't they make a neat sound as they sway from my belt? You know that belt of Truth." "Jesus gave me these." "Nope, no I haven't used them for anything..."

It's time that we as Christians take those keys off of our belts and choose a key and plunge it into the lock and turn it until we feel and hear the lock open.

Prisons opened. People set free. Eyes clear and seeing.

How? Ask God. Read His Word. There are instructions in there on how to unlock things.

©BL2007

Puke it Out

2007-07-31T09:09:00.000-04:00

It amazes me that we as people of God, of people of the Redeemed, still live like we do. We still wallow in our muck. Lying in our own waste, and puke. Never rising up and shaking off what Jesus came to set us free from. We all do this.

We all have baggage and the pat answer is 'it's because of sin in this world', but there is more.

Do we want to get set free? Do we ever want to let the Savior - The Great Warrior - set us free?

Or are we afraid to do that? Yes, it's scary. To let everything out and show it to the world. To puke it out and let the world see us with snot and tears and puke streaming down our faces. To see the blackness of our hearts.

We put this beautiful facade on for others to see....crowns of beauty, masks of 'I'm okay'. Costumes of what we want to show to the world.

We must take them off, the masks, the crowns, the costumes. They were put there by us, by the world. They are fake. They are conterfeit.

We must let Jesus take them off, if we are to be the warriors that the Bible says we are. We must, if we want to live our lives above the puke. We must be willing to let God do the surgery.

He came to set us free.

©BL2007

Root Canals

2007-07-30T20:27:00.000-04:00

Goodness where does a month go? I just got a coffee drink and she asked where I'd been lately - and she finished with the obvious question. On vacation?

Oh, what I wanted to unload on her! No, not vaca. Far from it.

Dealing with a rental property that needs mucho work before it's ready to rent again. And with a dear mom-in-law, and going through all of her stuff with her after a mini-stroke. No vaca.

In many ways some of this is a victory. I am not going as far down as I have in the past when the last straw was the cat playing keep-away, and I'd go ballistic. I've only had one real meltdown and that was when the contractor that is helping us repair the house, pulled up the linoleum in the cupboard under the kitchen sink, and I saw the rot there. When a simple phone call telling me that the dishwasher was leaking would have meant a call to the Maytag guy. I walked away and cried. Each day, my sister and I would go to the Lord, asking for forgiveness for wanting to annihilate the renters, get set free again, and go back to the house and find another clue to this riddle. Another piece to this puzzle. Another repair that could have been avoided, if they had only learned to be transparent and call us. I'm not sure what the picture will be when we get it all put back together.

But I am sure about the good thing that God is doing in my heart. He is making sure that each little remaining piece of anger, hatred, unforgiveness, resentment, blame (thanks Pastor Mike!), etc. is pulled out. It's like a root canal. They have to make sure that each little piece of that tooth's root is cleaned out, because of the possible spread of infection. The dentist says that there is even a stink when they open the thing up.

I'm sure too that when I let God open the thing up in my heart, that there is a stench to God's nostrils. And I'm also sure that if I let Him, He will want to go in and clean every bit of the stinky mess out of my heart.

So use the renters, God. Bring it on. Bring on the whole stinky mess and open up my heart to heal, so I don't stink or offend You anymore.

©BL2007

Gardening with sharp shears

2007-07-03T16:33:00.000-04:00

It was spoken over me not too long ago about how Jesus is the True Vine and I am a branch. That as we are vitally united, He pours Himself into me to produce fruit in my life.

It was cool because I got such a physical sense of a filling with His Spirit and His love, pouring into me. But even better, how connected He wants to be with us. Bear with me as I write this out. I think it out as I write.

Anyone that looks at a tree or plant, will see the vine or trunk swelling with growth. And as a branch starts growth, it swells too, because of the sap flowing through the trunk, and into the branch. (I could get all scientific here, but I'm not going to, because I'm not scientific!)

I just 'saw' in my mind a picture of a movie-like shot of a tree all in one motion - growing from a sapling, up into a huge tree, complete with many branches. And into limbs and into the leaves on the ends of the limbs. Whoosh! Growth.

But okay this is nothing new. The vinedresser, the vine, the branches. Ho hum.

I was pulling weeds one day and noticed that many little weeds were growing out of an old cement and brick ledge. (Why can weeds grow anywhere in any conditions, but the plants that we spend money on die with the best of conditions!) Somehow a seed was dropped there and it took root.

There it is. The answer.

The roots. When I coldly pulled the little weed out, a huge long root followed it. No dirt. Just root.

So if a tree or plant puts out strong roots, it will grow, thrive, be able to withstand the storms and winds, and grow up huge and tall.

I love the verse, "For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters that spreads out its roots by the river; and it shall not see and fear when heat comes; but its leaf shall be green. It shall not be anxious and full of care in the year of drought, nor shall it cease yielding fruit." (Ampl.) Jer. 17:8.

The roots by the river. Who is the river? In John 7:37, Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "If any man is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink!" Jesus is the River. So if I grow my roots deeply in Jesus, I will not fear when the heat comes and my leaves will be green and not wither. And I will continue to produce fruit in my life. I can even grow roots in the midst of cement and stone and brick in my life (have you ever been between a rock and a hard place?!)

But what about those gardening shears? You use those when you want to increase fruit production. You remove parts that are dead, or hindering true growth. He has removed businesses from my life. He has cut out people that are hindering me from growing. He has removed people that I was getting too tangled up with. You get the idea.

But there are branches not producing anything at all. A tree surgeon calls those dead. Duh. And they take the chain saw and down they come. The tree looks alot cleaner without them and usually within a few years, a new shoot will begin to grow in it's place. Ouch.

First of all it hurts to be severed from our Creator. But, does that mean that if we have come to Jesus, don't abide in Him, but choose our own way, we will be severed off from him? John 15:6 says "If a person does not dwell in Me, he is thrown out like a [broken-off] branch, and withers; such branches are gathered up and thrown into the fire, and they are burned."

Ouch, ouch.

Man, makes me want to hug my Vine.

©BL2007

Holy Mud Wrestling

2007-06-22T11:42:00.000-04:00

For some reason I woke up early this morning, at 5 a.m.! Not my usual time to wake up. Had a really busy day yesterday in the heat (take heat to mean all kinds - like fire - both outdoor temperature, but also spiritual temperature!) So it was unusual to wake that early.

But it was God calling. With pictures. I love it when He does that. He wakes me and then places visions and pictures in my mind. And then directs where they will go. Like when He loaded the one this morning, I knew what it was about. I love that.

The vision? I saw multitudes of people mindlessly fighting. There was a woman and I knew she was me, even though her hair was cut very short. She was hitting and slapping, like she was bored. With a 'whatever' attitude. It was like a movie in which everything is dirty and dark. There were no weapons, just people fighting, stirring up the dirt and dust, in the mud.

But I felt that it was mindless, ineffective fighting. And I realized that that is the way we fight our enemy, Satan. We have no clue as to his tactics, or his weapons, but we fight anyway. It's like a girly fight. We bring up our fists, open handed, and pummel the offender without really doing any damage.

Jesus didn't go through what He went through on the cross, for us to fight the enemy like we are. He came to earth and did what He did so that we could rally in the victory. So that we could know and do and win the battles like He did.

So how can we become effective warriors?

I believe that we need to study up on the tactics of Satan and his minions. The first place is obviously God's Word. What did Jesus do? How did He take authority? What words did He use?

We have that authority today just like He did then, because of what He did on the cross. He gave us back the keys of the Kingdom. Like He bought us the title with His Blood.

Another place to study is life. As the Holy Spirit reveals Himself in situations, He can teach us if we will let Him. No two situations are alike. That makes it less easy to put things in a box and always minister in the same way. No two people are alike. No two ministry situations are alike either. So we must listen with that spiritual ear. He will tell us. He will guide us.

"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh. For our weapons of warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God, to the pulling down of strongholds." 2Cor. 10:3,4.

I don't want to wake up from what I think is some dream, or one of God's visions, and be in reality. Fighting like a girl (sorry girls, but sometimes we go there!).

I want to know that when I pray (a huge part of warfare), as I speak out words, that I am praying in faith. Like it is done. Period.

I want to know that when Holy Spirit leads me to talk to someone, that I hear His promptings. I hear His words, not mine. Because His words will hit the mark, not mine.

I want to know that when my arms are around someone in comfort, that they are His arms and it is Him leading the hug and not me.

I want to know that when I speak His Word in faith, that the heavens and earth are turning and changing according to His Word spoken through my mouth!

So, hopefully, when I get another vision from the Lord, it will be one where the saints are battling, all decked out in armor. Using the Sword of the Spirit.

I just got a picture of me again, with full, shiny armor, swinging my huge sword round about, above my head. And it hit the mark. Never returning to my Lord void again!

©BL2007

Bagels and English Muffins

2007-06-11T10:22:00.000-04:00

The other day I was toasting a bagel and I realized that after a few days of toasting some english muffins, the timing is different for bagels. Duh!

It's so simple, really, but I asked why. The bagel is fatter than the muffin, so it is closer to the source of heat. It gets done faster.

Simple. But if I spend time closer to the source of heat - my Lord, do I get done faster too? Do I feel the heat and move into where He wants me?

But when I really think about that, that is what I have been doing for the last year. Getting closer to the fire. Letting God do whatever needs to be done in me. And I have grown faster this last year than the whole other 22 or so years that I have been a Christian.

So am I getting done faster? Is He coming sooner now? Yup!

I am getting done faster in direct relation to how close I let Him bring the fire. Make sense?

So what is the fire? By the name of my blog, you can imagine that I have been through a bit of fire, as we all have. But what I mean here is the convicting fire, when the Holy Spirit speaks to my heart and lets me know that a change is a comin'! And He uses certain situations in my life to bring about that change.

Lord, help me to be open to anything that you want to do, or bring about in my heart and life through whatever fire You choose.

Kings and Queens

2007-06-08T13:10:00.000-04:00

I've been reading Esther. Actually I had a gift of a day today. My daughter and I were to travel out of state to an appointment, and she chose, wisely, to call it off.

So this day is a gift and I chose to soak and read. Oh I have stuff to do, but I get the feeling, that I have been lacking in my time with Father. As I got done reading Esther, I asked God "how do I apply this to me, God?"

Next thing I knew I was on my face, on the floor, in repentence before the Father. Repenting of not taking my rightful place in the Kingdom of God. As a real heir of God, my Father. A warrior alongside Jesus. That is my rightful place.

With Esther, she rose up as a child of God, but as Queen alongside her King. To take what was rightfully hers and to save her people. She stepped out unto possible death, to stand in the gap for her people.

How many of us Christians today really do that? Me included. (Yep, I'm the one on the floor.) We are wimpy - we have no idea who we are in Christ. What we have in Christ. What we can do to further the Kingdom in Christ. We have the keys to the Kingdom in our hands if we have asked Jesus to be our Lord, but we don't use those keys to our full authority. What Jesus did at the cross, what He obtained for us, we don't take ahold of.

It's like Daddy drove up in a brand new Jeep Commander (yeah...), got out, and handed me the keys. And maybe I drove it to the post office (all of one mile) and then parked it. I'd keep the keys, but what am I doing with the gift?

This walk is more than a gift. It's a Kingdom! It's a lifestyle, the very act of living. I can choose to live, (or drive my old Jeep - which I love!) or get the keys to the best - God's best.

Okay, so apply this. The best Jeep could be, not fearing where I go, what I want to do for Him, and walking in God's fullest anointing - His highest endowment (thanks Brother Matthew!)

If someone took me to say.... the biggest car dealer around, and told me to pick out any vehicle, what would I pick? If I liked sports cars, (which I don't - I'm a truck woman!) would I pick out the top of the line? Or pick out a good used one because "that's all I deserve", or "I'm afraid".

If I liked SUV's (yup!) would I pick out the best? Maybe a Lexus or a Lincoln model? Or a used older Jeep? (I am very happy with my Jeep - this is just an application!)

When God gives us the keys to the Kingdom, meaning we can have and do all and more than Jesus did on this earth, do we settle for just salvation? (Don't get me wrong, that's huge.) When there is so much more that He has for us in this life, this walk with Him? He came to set the captives free. Yes He came to save us, but He also gave us the tools. The keys, the gifts.

Whoa. Gifts. Like in the spiritual gifts? Whoa.

Yes. Spiritual gifts. Would you make a man or woman a soldier, but not give them the tools or weapons? They would die.

This is getting deep. Didn't see this coming, but I'm plunging ahead.

I am a child of God. And a co-heir with Christ. And a warrior. And I have tools. Weapons. Because I'd die without them. I need them to hear His voice. I need them to know what to say. I need them to see what He sees.

I can 'walk' to the throne room anytime, with my royal robes on, because I rule with Jesus. (Yeah, it says so in the Word - Rom. 8:17) and obtain favor in His sight.

Just like Queen Esther did with King Ahasuerus.

I repent for falling back. For letting fear, shyness, or procrastination, or lies, keep me from doing God's Will.

I have the keys to the Kingdom.

I keep getting a picture of a beautiful queen with her septer, all clothed in beautiful robes, having access to all that a queen would be and have - and it's me!

The highest endowment of His Spirit. That's what we have in Him.

Sounds like I have an attitude. And I do. It's an attitude of repentence, but of knowing who I am.

Updates

2007-06-01T17:11:00.000-04:00

I am writing this in Denver. The little grands are at daycare because they had a BBQ today and they didn't want to miss. (I had them all day yesterday and we had so much fun!)

The Denver air is unbelievable (except inside where I am doing the oven cleaning thing for my daughter-in-law. I fixed lasagne the last time I was here and it ran over, but that's another story!) The sun is out and it is a beautiful day! And I am all alone enjoying it immensely!

And good news. On my last post, I was going to have to do a back-to-back haul for my husband? I only have to do the one to Denver and back home.

I keep thinking about what it would have been like if I would have thrown a fit when he asked me if I could do the second phase of this haul to Provo. I didn't really want to do it, but I submitted. And believe me when I say that there definitely have been times that I have thrown a fit! But this time, this once, feels so good. Because I didn't throw a fit, but also that I am released from doing the second phase.

Funny. It almost feels like I am growing up. Like I passed a test.

There will be other tests. Of that I'm sure. Some I'll fail, whoo, I even hate to think. But others? I will rise to the challenge. And do it well.

Because the Greater One lives on the inside of me.

My memory verse (thanks dear sister/mentor!) 1 John 4:4, says, "You are of God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world."

Says it all. And don't think that I am sitting her all smug because I didn't fail this time. There have been posts where I have puked it out and there will be more in the future.

But just this once, I am going to breathe this in and enjoy the Heavenly air and a victory. And look forward to more.

Challenges

2007-05-29T09:33:00.000-04:00

I love being home. I cherish the life God has me in right now.

I've had this time before. Just after I became "born again" (John 3:3). I would sit at Lord's feet and read and eat it up and soak and learn. For hours.

Right after that my husband and I moved 2 hours away from all of my dear sisters who had poured into my life, bought a grocery store, and we worked what felt like 24/7. Actually, we were open 7 days a week from 8 am to 8 pm.Yeah.

So during that time, I had no friends, no church, no sisters to hold my hand. I cried alot. We worked alot. Upheaval in our family. But also during that time, my theme song was "What a friend I have in Jesus", because He was all I knew. I asked Him one day why I couldn't get a grip on my life then. To like it, to flow in it. He said that it kept me on my knees. If everything was always great and wonderful, we would run on our little way and forget about Him.

And yes, we built a relationship with a strong foundation. No church, no Bible study, no friends. Just Him and me.

Well, now I have that time back again. Yes, I work, but it is at my discretion, when. So I can soak again. I can go to church again. I can read His Word again.

Back to reality. I just got a call from my husband. He needs me to drive a truck and trailer (with a car inside) to Denver this week. And turn right around and drive to Provo to deliver another car after that! Whew! He invaded my space! My space!

But whose space is it really? Mine? Or Lord's? When I submit (and I assure you, that I could flat out say no to my husband and it would be okay) but when I submit? It is, yes, to my husband, but really? It is to my Jesus. My Lord.

Oh, I can hear some. "You shouldn't have to do that. That may be dangerous." Yeah. I know. It can be scary. It can be a challenge driving with a trailer. (You should have seen me in Chicago!) Backing with a trailer is fun! (I'm being....well you know!)

But I am a firm believer in the verse 1 Cor.10:13. "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."

The Amplified says in the last part, "But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out (the means of escape to a landing place), that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently."

I don't know if driving is a temptation, but the way my flesh felt at first when my husband asked me to do it was. Whoa! But I am a warrior woman. I love that verse because I believe that we haven't even tapped into the reservoir of strength that He has for us.

We can be free to step out and do the uncomfortable, the things that challenge us, because He is faithful to meet our needs. This verse is a promise. A protection. He can be trusted to not let us be pushed beyond our ability.

So, God, I must be able to do this. And more. because I am a warrior woman. I am a child of God, of the Almighty.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Amen?!

Yes, it will be a challenge. It's not easy sometimes to fuel with a big truck and trailer. It's not easy to park! (I have stories!) It's not easy to switch lanes in Denver traffic! (I have stories!)

But can I do it? Yes. I will submit to bless my husband. Because he is busy and he needs me. And he is blessing me.

Oh wait! Did I tell you that I get paid? And that on the trip to Denver, I can stop for a few days and play with my grandsons? Ha! Oh the challenges.....

Willing to let God

2007-05-25T13:12:00.000-04:00

Holey Moley, God is Good!

Had a great time with the Lord this morning. I don't know how, but it gets better and better. Everyday there is new refreshing. New things to learn.

I am reading Pat Cocking's book: "Third Heaven, Angels and... Other Stuff". I borrowed it from the church library, but I am going to get my own. It seems like a good reference book to have.

In response to reading a part, I had such an incredible time with Jesus. So pure. So precious.

If we just give time to Him, He is faithful to show up!

I want to go farther with Him. And as I visualize that, I can't imagine Him pushing me away, can you? His Word says that when we seek Him, He will not turn away from us! How about that?! So if I come to Him fifty time a day, He won't push me away? If I come to Him 300 times, He won't ignore me?

How about if we just stay in Him. I'm learning. I still have bunches to learn, but I'm willing. I think that's what it takes.

Being willing.

Thankful Thursday

2007-05-24T13:10:00.000-04:00

Okay, I am following in the footsteps of the famous www.mykissesfromheaven.blogspot.com blog writer to write a Thankful Thursday edition. She is such an inspiration to me. Makes me laugh. Keeps me accountable.

So my first edition of Thankful Thursday belongs to her. I am thankful for her eyes, because they look into God's face. I am thankful for her tears (that frequently come out of her eyes!) for her heart's cry is to see people released from their bondages. She cries over their pain. I am thankful for her hugs (yes I get to hug her in reality!) for in that hug, she wraps me with the arms of Jesus. I am thankful for her laughter, which in turn, I can't help but laugh back! I am thankful for her wisdom which she pours over me, into my life. I am thankful for her encouragement, with which she gives me the strength to go on. I am thankful for her spirit of slap, which she uses with discernment during my memory verse sessions! Keeps me on the path of writing God's Word on my heart.

And she is the one that got me started blogging. Thanks be to God and to her!

Nasty day - Trashy thoughts

2007-05-23T19:02:00.000-04:00

Whoa. One of those days again.

You feel like the legion is inside of you. Every five minutes, you are declaring "and bringing captive every thought in obedience to Christ." And minutes later, again, you catch yourself thinking those same trashy thoughts.

Like, what is going on here, Lord? Why can't I get a grip on this, and feel free today?

Because Satan is a thief, coming to steal my joy today. And because Father God needs to know where my heart is.

I'm learning to not internalize all that happens to me. Pastor got a good word for me last October about that.

I'm learning to ask God for forgiveness, and ask for help. "Lord, I'm sorry. Help me."

That's the best prayer. Especially for days like today.

For the Nasty, Trashy Thought days.

Violent Prayer

2007-05-21T11:49:00.000-04:00

Letting go is part of the battle. And also praying violent prayers for our loved ones.

It used to scare me when I would pray, "Lord take them where they need to go, to get to where they need to be with You". And even now, I admit, I feel a twinge when those words come out. "What if they die? What if they get hurt? What if....?"

Is their life right now so wonderful, as they might be abusing themselves, hurting themselves, and others? No. So what could be any worse? I know that this sound harsh, but as I have gone through addiction recovery with one family member, and other things in a marriage, don't I know that God wants the best for them? Don't I know that God wants no one to perish, but to come to repentance and to the knowledge of the truth?

And how do I think that He will do that? Will He let them perish? The Word says in 1 Tim. 2:4, "Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth." And in Acts16:31, "The Lord is not slack concerning His Promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance." (Thanks to my mentor who keeps the spirit of slap ready in my memory work - Kidding!)

But reality? God loves them more than I do. Reality? His plan for them is better than mine! (Yeah, I admit that my plans could be a little vindictive!) Reality? God's Mercy endureth forever.

So, pray, ask, obey, let God, and let go.

His Presence

2007-05-16T09:35:00.000-04:00

Mother's Day came and went. I went to church. Had a great time with God. With my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

Took my mother-in-law out to do her shopping, her heavy stuff. God taught me some stuff that day, but that's a whole other blog! We met my hubby and we three went out to eat. Wonderful meal. Good time.

Took her home and put away her goods. She was so appreciative. Had prayer.

And found my way home.

At home, I was a lost puppy. Something wasn't right. Something felt so wrong.

But I know. I missed my kids. I missed their shadows on my doorstep. I did see two at church, but so short a time. One is almost in another country he's so far away. And another and his family are a long ways away too. They all called - don't get me wrong. They are wonderfully thoughtful. Always good. But there is something about their presence. Their touch. Their hugs. Their presence. I was missing their presence.

How much more must God feel when we don't turn to Him. When we read His Word, but don't give into the tug on our hearts. We can be reading His Word, and brush Him aside and say "Not now, I'm reading." We can be doing a good thing. Of the Lord. But if we don't acknowledge him, it's for nothing. It's meaningless.

Some who will read this will wonder what is wrong with her. But some will know. Some who sit at His feet. Who lie in soak mode. Who crawl up on His lap. Some won't understand. But some will.

Maybe a year ago or so, I was visiting my son at Teen Challenge (he was a student there - no not staff - he was a cocaine addict and dealer). We found ourselves in church and during a wonderful worship time, I heard Lord say, "I've missed you," into my heart.

Where had I been? I had been wallowing in my own pain. In my anger. Not even pulling on His robes. Not even looking His way. Walking away on my self-made lonely road.

But He welcomed me back. Just as when my kids can come home? I will welcome them with open arms and say "I've missed you!"

Word in warfare

2007-05-10T11:34:00.000-04:00

Okay, I know I said yesterday that I was going to be away from blogging, but I felt this was too good.

I was at Bible Study last night and we prayed for an upcoming service.

That the words would be whatever God wanted. If He wanted a bowling ball to crash into someone's heart, so be it.

But if they needed to be dusted with a feather, bring it on.

This morning as I thought about it and continued to pray, it hit me. God can use the same 'word' and hit someone with a bowling ball and then flit on someone with a feather. Same word. Same time. Different ministry!

Cool, huh! Very efficient, God. Fun!

Absentee blogger

2007-05-09T17:49:00.000-04:00

I am expecting to be off blogging for a bit. I am trying to meet some deadlines with my writing. I have never entered contests before, so it might take abit of time to do this. But I am excited about it.

I should get some feedback - even if I don't win anything. That would be good to have.

So pray for me! I have written a long time, but never prepared anything for entry.

Fun!

New steps!

Warfare Dreams

2007-05-07T17:18:00.000-04:00

A few nights ago, I had a dream.

I was in my bed (actually it was bigger and nicer - I like this dream!) I was in my room (you guessed it - it was my room only bigger and better! God's always telling me to dream big!) I was sleeping on my right side and felt a nudge on my back waist. I rolled over, in my dream, and saw my son sitting to the side of the bed.

And then I woke up! (End of bigger bedroom!) But still felt physically the nudge on my back.

I stayed awake and prayed for him - it was about 1:30am - until I felt a release - about 2am.

And as a mom, I wondered what was going on with him. What was he struggling with. Or maybe was he witnessing to someone. Where he lives it is 5 hours difference.

This morning I got the answer. My son has stepped out to go to school for cinema and filmmaking. As a Christian. Stepping out into Satan's playground. He and a group of other students were getting together soon after that time to start a group of Christian men and women that are going into that industry, to pray - to focus on what lies ahead.

And they needed prayer cover. A mom should have known that. I was praying, but for school. 'Help his mind. Help him grow. Help him learn. Protect him."

What I really needed to do?

Get out of bed. Put on my armor like in the previous post. And fire the Word of God into the battle.

To not tiptoe around. Stand and stand firm. Yes, on my son's behalf, but speaking God's Light into that Darkness.

Running into the battle. Shields up. Shields of faith. Raising the sword up into the forces ahead.

Alongside Jesus. The great Commander. The King of Kings

Feel Like a Warrior

2007-05-02T17:46:00.000-04:00

Last night – I don’t remember if it was as I was going…………I do remember. I was snuggling up to Father God and acting like a daughter. The little girl thing saying whatever – I really don’t remember – but snuggling up to Him.

But I remember greeting my Brother – Jesus! And right away, I was not the daughter, but the warrior alongside. I immediately felt like a warrior and I felt like I was dressed or suited up like a warrior. I felt the armor on. I felt it.

And our eyes met – Jesus was putting on his gloves and giving instructions to the army – us.

There was a definite sound of weapons clashing. Getting weapons readied for battle. Noises of swords, of shields, of helmets being cleaned and made ready. Swords clashing in practice forays. Warriors and angels testing their strength against each other. Stretching out. Driving the sword into the air – piercing the thickness. Piercing the darkness with the light of the sword. Helping each other put on the breastplates. One in front of the warrior and one in back – putting it in place - the warrior focusing on Jesus’ Words of instruction as if in a trance.

And many warriors moving in almost a dance of warfare, moving their shields and swords from side to side. Almost a planned pattern or dance step, like my grandson calls his ‘skills’. (He’s four!) Like a routine of movement only for war. Thrusting the sword into the air with the left arm and the other arm, hidden by the shield, bringing it alongside his or her chest or side – taking a huge step ahead in a lunge. Eyes focused on what lies ahead. Always alert and listening to Jesus’ instructions. Always attentive to Him and His needs and Wisdom.

Ready – but even as the warriors are moving and practicing, they are also aware that they are already in the battle. Not just readying for it, but in it.

It’s almost a time warp thing. Preparing, but in, at the same time. And moving with confidence in the knowledge that the battle is already won. But no matter. The warriors still move about in faith and obedience and perseverance. Always moving – always in tune with Jesus. Always in the battle, but totally aware that they are victorious because of Him. But never giving up. Never giving in. Never stopping.

When there are wounded, many gather around. Bringing their swords up and around and building a hedge round about them. Calling out Jesus’ Name. And He comes – to each wounded warrior – to look into their eyes and speak words of comfort. Laying a hand on their wounds and healing each one. Sometimes the wounds are far too bad and Jesus takes the wounded with Him and keeps them with Him – always helping them by looking into their wounds. And He covers them with His robes of Righteousness and Healing.

And when the wounded are ready, he holds out a hand to each one and pulls them up – not in their own strength – but in His.

And as the enemy is pushed back, a cheer goes up! A cheer of celebration and another warrior is welcomed into the army.
So the process begins all over again. Practicing, listening to the Lord of the Army, focusing, moving in the Spirit, learning, always in the battle.

And as Jesus speaks His words of wisdom, each warrior speaks them out in praise and adoration. Practicing them also, but using them in the battle. In worship of the Victorious, but in obedience.

Entering the battles, into the foray, swinging their swords in a huge swoop. Charging alongside their Leader.

And as the warriors run alongside Jesus, He looks back at each one. With a glint in His eyes. And a grin on His face! And with His sword raised up and forward. Hair flowing all about him.

Are you ready?

Angels

2007-05-01T22:11:00.000-04:00

I have an angel where I live. His name is Joe.

Really. He has glasses, wears work clothes, wears a ball hat, and is my angel!

He drives a lawn mower. And he mows my lawn.

But he is a real live angel. Because every spring, he lets me go out in my large yard and rake all of the leaves from my many flower beds into the lawn. And then he just mows them up.

We did that this morning.

I used to rake an area, bag it, take it to the dump's leaf and grass area and go back to work at our grocery store. What used to take weeks to complete, this morning only took 3 hours!

Yeah, I know he is flesh and blood, and if he read this? He would deny the angel thing.

But there is just something about Joe.

Maybe someday I'll write on some supernatural stuff with angels, but today?

I have an angel and his name is Joe!

Watching and listening

2007-04-29T20:56:00.000-04:00

I am in the dining room - the west window is open and I am first and foremost so aware of a wonderful cardinal outside singing it's heart out. So beautiful. It seems that the other birds outside stop singing when the cardinal starts - like they are listening. And then there are other bird twitters when the cardinal is quiet.

It is a Sunday - early evening - beautiful out. But so very quiet - a hint of the breeze every once in a while but except for the birds and the table and chair creaking when I move, it is so quiet. I hear the light tinkle of a small wind chime that I just put outside, and then softly the large chime bongs as if saying, "I am still in charge!" So pleasant.

Inside, it is getting dimmer, so the light is on - making the room seem warm - cozy. The old table that I am writing at and the old chairs are badly in need of refinishing, but somehow, that nick, that chip, tells a story. There are scratches, glass rings, wear and tear. And the sounds as you lean against the table are timeless and comforting.

I look at one end of the table and all of my Bible study stuff is there. Notebooks open, books piled, notes scribbled - precious stuff. I leave it out because it is easier for me to grab at a verse or two each day. I love studying, but it takes a Mack truck to drag me there! It backs up, beeps three times, and dumps me out! Once I'm there I don't want to leave.

But when my hubby comes home, I will gather it all up and shove it somewhere (not too deep - I want to continue!) because that is also the end of the table that he sits at to do his bookwork after he comes home from a haul. I wonder if, when he sits down, he feels the anointing! Because it is the Holy end of the table!

And now I hear kids outside. Laughing, yelling. One last game, one last bike ride, before the day turns in.

The shadows are moving lower on the buffet. And a dove or a pigeon (correct me you bird knowers!) coos - almost in a soothing, end of the day - settling in. Settling us down, quietly - saying it's time to draw in - to tap into this Peace.

Deep sigh.

I'm back!

2007-04-21T12:57:00.000-04:00

I'm back after having to complete a fuel tax return and extra bookwork.

I tell God - 'I am an artist - a writer. I don't have time for the business bookwork. I am not built this way. My mind doesn't work this way.

God tells me back - 'Do it anyway. You can do all things through Me. You must be faithful in the little.'

Hmm. God is teaching me to be obedient both to Him and my boss/husband.

And I can be. That feels good.

So why wasn't I obedient when hubby asked me to take keys to an old car we have parked in our lot, so when he drove home after a long day of driving/loading/unloading he could have loaded his gear into the car and driven home.

Instead - you guessed it. I didn't get it done and he had to walk home (it was very late!). Only two blocks or so, but.

Five minutes was all it would have taken.

I'm still learning. About submission. Love. Giving of myself. Unselfishness. Obedience.

And you can bet if it had been me walking home I would have been muttering the same things that he must have been!

But don't worry. I'm forgiven. By both. I asked my Father/Bridegroom for forgiveness and He has already forgotten.

I asked my hubby/boss for forgiveness and he has forgiven, but I'm not sure he has forgotten!

That might take ...well we'll figure that out!

Love you all - God keep you. Never give up. Jesus didn't and we won't either!

Dancing

2007-04-16T08:46:00.000-04:00

What a beautiful morning. I love the way the sun moves it's way through the trees and down the street.

I am so blessed to have this time. What an incredible soak time this morning. I lay there (on the floor!) in my jammies and let God. Yeah. That's it. Let God.

But then as I listen to the music and the words, the music gets to me. I can't help it. I have to get up and dance. I can't keep still. So I get up (ooo...easy...gotta let those old bones find their way!) and dance - with Him.

I have wondered about when I'll have to quit dancing. My spirit says always, but my body? But Lord has assured me that when I am in the nursing home, that when I have soak time (because I will never give that up), as I close my eyes, I will be dancing with Him and it will be ever so much the same as now! My feet will move with His and we will dance!

Cool, huh.

The first one!

2007-04-15T19:44:00.000-04:00

The is the first post to my new blog.

I don't know what this will flow like, but I'm going with it.

I write every morning almost, but this is a little more intimidating!

What do I want to do here? I want to speak my heart. I want to speak God's heart.

When I write He flows through me and that is what this site will be about. His voice through me.

I'll share my past, my struggles, my thoughts, my goofiness.

Like last night I was praying my good night prayers - "God bless....and... and angels round about us all." And then I wondered, "what does that look like?" Angels round about us.

Is there angel on the rocker next to me? One on the other chair? Maybe one hanging out on the corner of the bed dangling a foot over the edge, checking his/her nails. Or one standing on guard at the foot of the bed.

One in my closet? In my shoes? Oh no.

Okay that was funny! Got a good visual - had a great laugh.

Not sure what the angels were doing - but one thing I know for sure. They were and are round about me.

A host. I'm so blessed!